"Love is such a strong word. And if you are going to use it, make sure you know what it means. Cause it hurts to hear and know that you don't mean it."- Alone and Restless

Forgiveness does not involve a literal forgetting. Forgiveness involves remembering graciously. The forgiver remembers the true though painful parts, but without the embellishment of angry adjectives and adverbs that stir up contempt."

Do not Grow Old

Many people are afraid of growing old. I'm afraid of growing old
and boring. Many people are afraid of growing old, alone. I'm
afraid of growing old, insane. Many people are afraid of losing
their looks. I'm afraid of losing my dreams. Many people are afraid
of losing their youth. I'm afraid of losing my
soul.

When you're 15, 35 seems ancient. When you're 35, 15 seems
juvenile. A turnaround in a split second - two decades zoom past
and before you know it, it's only a mile to the next millennium.
Don't' fear age- it's a right of personhood. Don't fear death- it's
God's greatest jest. Don't grow old - you don't have to.

Don't date because you're desperate. Don't marry because you're
miserable. Don't have kids because you think your genes are
superior. Don't separate because you think it's fashionable. Don't
drink because you have troubles. Don't gamble because you think
winning is inevitable. Don't philander because you think you're
irresistible. Most likely, you're not.

Don't associate with people you can't trust. Don't cheat. Don't lie.
Don't pretend. Don't try to buy your way into the kingdom of God.
Don't dictate because you're smarter. Don't demand because you're
stronger. Don't sleep around because you think you're old enough and
know better. Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.

Don't sell your self, your family or your ideals.
Don't stagnate. Don't regress. Learn a new skill. Find a new
friend. Start a new career. Don't live in the past. Time can't
bring anything or anyone back. Don't put your life on hold for
possibly Mr. Right. Don't throw you life away on absolutely Mr. .
Wrong because your biological clock is ticking and you can't afford
to have your eggs harvested before the new millennium.

There's always a mad rush to something, somewhere but victory does
not always belong to those who finish first. Sometimes, there is no
race to be won only a price to be paid for some of life's more
hasty decisions. You can't always go with the throng who could be
wrong. Sometimes, you have to be alone to be enlightened.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless. To feed
your nurturing instincts, care for the needy. To fulfill your
parenting fantasies, get a puppy. Don't bring another life into
this world for all the wrong reasons. To keep yourself warm, buy a
jacket. In the long-run, it will be less complicated and less
costly. To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the
best of what you can be.

Simplify your life. Take away the clutter. Get rid of destructive
elements - abusive friends, nasty habits and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.
Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your
family. Be true to yourself. Don't commit when you're not ready.

Don't keep others waiting needlessly. Fall in love - it's the
greatest thing on earth. But take care and remember, after the fall
must come the rise.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it. Say those words. Don't let the
moment pass. Do what you must even at society's scorn. Write
poetry. Love deeply. Walk barefoot. Hold hands. Dance with wild
abandon. Cry at the movies. Take care of yourself. Don't wait for
someone to take care of you. You light up your life. You drive
yourself to your destination. No one completes you - except you.

It is true that life doesn't get easier with age. It only gets more
challenging. Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love.

Pursue your passions. Live your dreams. Don't lose faith in God.
Don't grow old. Just grow up.


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Six examples of workplace rudeness

By Anthony Balderrama
CareerBuilder.com writer

Editor's note: CNN.com has a business partnership with CareerBuilder.com, which serves as the exclusive provider of job listings and services to CNN.com.

In the stressful, day-to-day work environment, many people forget to mind their manners on the job.

Are you rude?
You rarely steal candy from toddlers.
You don't trip people on crutches anymore.
You can't even remember the last time you made someone cry.
All in all, you could do a lot worse. You might not be in the running for a Good Samaritan of the Year Award, but you're a pretty decent person.
But how about your co-workers? Plenty of our daily interactions at work are befuddling. You're often left wondering if people are deliberately rude or just ignorant of their behavior. After all, you'd like to think people aren't going out of their way to inconvenience you.
With that in mind, we've taken a look at unappreciated behavior that rears its head in an effort to explain why it's rude and why you shouldn't do it (or why someone shouldn't do it to you).

1. You know what's rude? When someone --
Interruptions are offensive on many levels. When you interrupt someone, you suggest that your time and ideas are more important than everyone else's and that you have no interest in listening to what they have to say.
A rare offense is forgivable, but habitual interruption is problematic, according to professional coach Susan B. Wilson. "Some folks interrupt incessantly, whether you are on the phone, in a meeting, deep in thought or in another conversation."

2. No thanks
Aside from the phrases "Because I said so!" and "No," perhaps the most common thing you'll hear parents say to a child is, "And what do we say?" The prompt is, of course, for the child to tell someone "thanks" for a kind gesture -- a practice lost on many adults.
"The following statistic bears repeating," Wilson says. "In a 2002 Public Agenda survey, 48 percent of adults expressed only 'sometimes' encountering people who made an effort to say 'please' and 'thank you'; 16 percent said they saw such behavior 'practically never.'" A few words to show gratitude can put someone in a good mood -- or at the very least can keep someone out of a foul mood. Why not do it?

3. Table manners
Kara C.* has her share of venting to do about workplace rudeness, and at the top of the list is the lack of housekeeping manners she witnesses. In her company's communal kitchen, you won't have to look hard to see evidence that someone's recently enjoyed a snack in one of the cups or bowls littering the counter. She wants to remind her colleagues that maids don't work in the office, so they should clean up after themselves.

4. That's just #@*%ing rude!
Language is very subjective, and everybody has his or her own unique way of speaking. One person's "Howdy" is another person's "What's up?" When it comes to R-rated language, one person's "hell" is another person's "H-E-double hockey sticks." And that's something you should remember when interacting with others at work. It's less about the profanity itself and more about the fact that you don't care if it bothers the people around you.

5. Yes, all of us can hear you now
Teenagers are very private about phone conversations. They might be young, but they will give you a scowl that makes you feel like you're the child and they're the adult if you eavesdrop. Strange, then, how a dozen years later, many people do a 180 on this practice and want everyone to hear their conversations.
Cubicles are the norm in many workplaces, so one person's speakerphone conversation becomes an entire floor's business. Never mind how annoying it is to hear a conversation you're not a part of; think how bothersome it is to try to concentrate on work when someone's blathering in your ears. Rather than force your call on the whole department, invest in a headset or just hold the receiver in your hand.

6. I'm sorry, do I know you?
When you're walking down the hall and a co-worker is walking toward you, give a smile, a nod or some other greeting. No one's asking you to engage in a bear hug or to pretend you two are best friends. All anyone wants is an acknowledgement that you see them and that you're not going out of your way to avoid having any contact with them.
Why is this important, anyway? Well, think about the alternative: You walk down the hall and pretend not to see them by averting your eyes. You'd rather do anything but give a quick acknowledgement to this person. What kind of message does that send?
*Kara asked that her full name be withheld.

Copyright CareerBuilder.com 2009.
All rights reserved. The information contained in this article may not be published, broadcast or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority

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Are You Having an Emotional Affair?

Dating Question: Are You Having an Emotional Affair?

An email here, a smile there. Maybe that 'innocent' friendship with your guy friend isn't so innocent after all...

By Heather Johnson Durocher for Redbook
Updated: Mar 24, 2009
dating couple gazing at clouds

Relationship alert: 82 percent of affairs happen with someone who was at first "just a friend," according to noted infidelity researcher Shirley P. Glass.
So... despite any obvious signs of cheating in your so-called friendship, ask yourself: Are you having an emotional affair?

You've Probably Crossed the Line if You...
1. Touch your male friend in "legal" ways, like picking lint off his blazer.
2. Pay extra attention to how you look before you see him.
3. Think crush-like thoughts like "He'd love this song!"
4. Tell him more details about your day than you do your partner.
5. No longer feel comfortable telling your mate about this person and begin to cover up your relationship.
6. Experience increasing sensual tension; you admit your attraction to him but also insist to yourself that you would never act on it.
It's About to Get Physical When You...
1. Find yourself feeling vulnerable and turn to the other man for support rather than to your mate or a trusted relative or girlfriend.
2. Accelerate the level of intimacy through sensual or suggestive talk over email or the phone.
3. Put yourself in a situation where the two of you could be alone.

You Can Avoid the Potential Affair if You...
1. Stay honest with your partner. Share with him all your hopes, triumphs, and failures -- as well as your attractions and temptations, which will help keep you from acting on them.
2. Make time for just the two of you on a regular basis -- away from the kids, your friends, and family.
3. Surround yourself with happy couples who don't believe in fooling around. Having positive, emotionally connected role models will help you stay on track.
Readers Reveal: "I Knew I'd Gone too Far When..."
"The guy who I was flirting with regularly over email attended the same event as me and my fiance. When I introduced them, my face flushed as red as a tomato -- I felt embarrassed and guilty about my fiance meeting this guy, so I knew what I was doing was wrong." -- Carolyn, 31, Westfield, NJ
"During one night of partying, my best guy friend and I confessed we had always liked each other. He was a perfect gentleman and left my place before we crossed the physical line. The next day I was completely embarrassed and knew that I didn't want to jeopardize the relationship with my boyfriend so I ended the friendship. And now the boyfriend is my husband, so I'm glad I did." -- Allie, 29, Yonkers, NY
"The cute tech guy who I'd been flirting with at my office said to me, 'You're not going to invite me in?' after I accepted a ride home from him. I liked the attention of him buying me vending machine snacks and complimenting me, but my husband would've had a heart attack if he knew." -- Amy, 38, Chicago
"My best guy friend and I were snuggled on his couch underneath a blanket when I realized that neither his girlfriend nor my boyfriend would be happy if they saw us -- and that our platonic relationship wasn't as platonic as we thought." -- Kim, 35, New Orleans

Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.



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Overlooked Fat Loss Factors

Losing weight is about more than reducing calorie intake. Fitness expert Joel Marion lets us in on some overlooked fat loss factors.

By Joel Marion, Fitness Expert

These overlooked fat loss factors need to be addressed
We're often told that losing weight is a simple mathematical equation of calories in, calories out. Burn more calories than you eat and you’ll lose fat. However, is it really that simple? The truth is that the actual “number” of calories you consume is not the only factor that affects your fat-loss efforts. In this article, we’ll discuss five other things that should be considered when determining the effect of your diet on your waistline, primarily overlooked fat loss factors. Incorporate this knowledge into your workout and nutrition routines and soon you'll be ripped like Ryan Reynolds -- and attracting looks from fitness babes like Amy Weber and Jamie Eason for it.

1- The thermic effect of the food you eat
The thermic effect of food (TEF) measures the amount of energy that is required to support the processes of digesting, absorbing and assimilating food nutrients as well as the energy expended as a result of the central nervous system's stimulatory effect on metabolism when food is ingested. Of the three macronutrients, protein carries the highest thermic effect. Eat more protein; burn more calories.

2- The fiber content of the food you eat
Due to its chemical makeup, fiber is classified as a carbohydrate; however, it is unlike other carbohydrates in that it is an indigestible nutrient. Even though each gram of fiber contains four calories, these calories will remain undigested and will not be absorbed. Therefore, if you were to consume 300 calories of red beans (a food in which nearly 1/3 of the caloric content is from fiber), approximately 100 of these calories would pass through your intestinal tract undigested.

3- The glycemic and insulin indices of the food you eat
The glycemic and insulin indices are scaled numbers that refer to how quickly a particular carbohydrate source enters the bloodstream as sugar and how much insulin is needed to rid that sugar from the bloodstream, respectively. Generally speaking, there is a positive relationship between the two; the quicker sugar enters the bloodstream, the more insulin is needed to rid that sugar from the bloodstream. When high levels of insulin are present within the blood, fat burning is brought to a screeching halt, which is anything but desirable for those whose goal it is to obtain a lean, muscular physique. Don't let this be an overlooked fat loss factor.

4- The different macronutrients present in the food you eat
Although insulin's primary function is to shuttle glucose (sugar) into skeletal muscle, it also carries many other nutrients to their respective storage sites -- this includes lipids (fat). Since carbohydrate ingestion stimulates a large insulin response and fat ingestion gives rise to blood lipid levels, when the two are consumed together, they promote the greatest fat storage.There's one more overlooked fat loss factor you need to know, along with some other great weight loss tips...

5- The size, frequency and time of the meals you eat
Large, infrequent meals tend to promote storage of the ingested nutrients, as the body is unsure as to when the next feeding will take place. Conversely, consuming smaller, more frequent meals will result in an increase in metabolism and utilization of the ingested nutrients. Also, ingesting a large amount of carbohydrates before bed spikes insulin, deters nocturnal thermogenesis and increases fat storage during sleep. On the contrary, consuming a great deal of calories early in the day does not bring about this problem; rather, these calories are likely to be used as energy to support daily activities.

fight the fat
As you can see, someone could be eating a relatively small amount of calories daily, but at the same time be promoting a great deal of fat storage by:
1) Making poor food choices;
2) Combining macronutrients in a nonproductive fashion and;
3) Consuming food infrequently and at inopportune times.

To illustrate this further, let's take a look at a recent study that analyzed the diets of 38 police officers. This study discovered that although the officers were consuming a hypocaloric diet (fewer calories than they burn), they all had unhealthy levels of body fat and had been gaining fat mass over the past five years. If all you had to do to lose fat was consume fewer calories than you burned, then these individuals would be losing fat, not gaining it.To confirm the importance of the factors that I previously mentioned, let's take a look at some of the other things this study noted:
Only 15% of their diet consisted of protein, the macronutrient with the greatest TEF.
Their diet contained very little fiber.
Over 50% of their carbohydrate intake was derived from simple sugars, which have very high glycemic and insulin indices.
They didn't note this, but I'm willing to bet that they didn't avoid the fat-carb combo.
They ate infrequently -- only 10% of their caloric intake was consumed at breakfast and over 50% was consumed right before bed.
By now, it should be obvious that fat loss isn't just a matter of calories in, calories out. And while it’s a little more complex than that, you can easily use the tips in this article to ensure you’re getting the most from your dieting efforts.

Joel Marion is an internationally recognized fitness expert and the author of The Cheat to Lose Diet (Random House, 2007). To learn more about Joel’s top-rated Body Transformation Coaching program and to download a free copy of his latest fat loss report, The Secret Fat Loss Hormone, visit http://www.joelmarioncoaching.com/