It’s called, putting everything aside and
simply being strong…
Faith with action
Faith in action. Church people should also put into action Christ's teachings.
Always be humble. If you are one of those people serving Christ by being active in you parish, you should not act so proud of what you are doing. Remember when you choose to serve Christ, you choose to serve other people; the poor, the sinners, the lonely.
People in authority should not brag their position.
The higher the position means a greater responsibility within the organization.
We should work silently. Let the others be the witness of your charity works.
Always be humble. If you are one of those people serving Christ by being active in you parish, you should not act so proud of what you are doing. Remember when you choose to serve Christ, you choose to serve other people; the poor, the sinners, the lonely.
People in authority should not brag their position.
The higher the position means a greater responsibility within the organization.
We should work silently. Let the others be the witness of your charity works.
The Other Woman: We didn't kiss, or even touch. But the hold we had on each other wasn't easily broken
-by Jim Peters
I don't remember the first time I saw her. That's how little of an impression Amanda made on me. There was nothing about her face, or her figure, that made her stand out. We both worked as volunteers at a local youth outreach center. I led Bible studies and she tutored kids who were struggling in school.
One evening, as we finished up a session, Amanda asked if we could get together to talk about the kids she was working with. Since I wasn't attracted to her, and since we'd be meeting in a public place, I saw no reason to refuse her request.The following week we had coffee together in a crowded restaurant. As we talked about an upcoming fundraiser for the center, I had no way of knowing that our friendship would one day threaten my marriage.
Signs of Danger
I didn't know it then, but I do now—there are intimacies far more subtle than physical touch but no less dangerous to a marriage. When Amanda and I began meeting, I didn't recognize the pressures that were building beneath the surface of my four-year-old marriage. For one thing, money was tight. I was a self-employed contractor, and my clients were often tardy with their payments. But our bills arrived with maddening regularity. Our newborn was colicky and my wife, Sarah, was exhausted. Adding to the stress was our impending move to the Midwest. I can see now that the pressure we were under created an atmosphere ripe for temptation.
Still, what happened with Amanda caught me completely off-guard.After a few meetings over coffee, I was puzzled by how much I looked forward to seeing Amanda again. I'd get an idea at work, and I'd realize I couldn't wait to share it with her. Somehow, I assumed Sarah wouldn't be as interested.In addition to our volunteer work at the youth center, Amanda and I shared an uncannily similar taste in music and literature. We began discussing the books we were reading, and our meetings grew longer and more frequent. As I got to know her compassion for others, my admiration of her literally changed the way she looked to me. One evening, as I watched her praying with a student, I realized I had become the friend of a beautiful woman.
Meanwhile, Sarah was struggling to care for our new baby and worrying about our precarious financial condition. When I'd come home excited about the way God was moving in the life of one of the students, Sarah would respond by mentioning that the bills were due and we were $200 short. She felt my spare time would be more wisely spent on a second job—not volunteering at the youth center. In fact, the more I struggled with my feelings for Amanda, the more stressed out Sarah became about our home and repairs that needed to be done. Home maintenance is not my strength, and yet it appeared to be Sarah's most cherished attribute in a husband.
Losing Control
Amanda and I had been meeting for about a month when a group from the youth center went on a weekend retreat. I began thinking about her as soon as I settled into my bunk. I imagined the walks we might take or conversations we might have, and instantly my conscience screamed out a warning: "These are thoughts you should be having about your wife! How long are you going to let this go on?"As I prayed about the situation, I realized our meetings would have to end. The next day I broke the news to her."Sarah and I will be moving to the Midwest in about a month," I began. I saw the alarm in Amanda's eyes, and took a strange comfort in knowing she would really miss me. "And, well, my family is really important to me and I don't think we should be meeting together anymore."Amanda was the type who had a small circle of friends, and she held them closely. Her voice was bruised and soft when she finally asked the ultimate question, "Why?" Without answering her directly, I reiterated how important my family was to me, and added that I didn't want to do anything that would jeopardize my marriage."You mean … " she began, then stopped. "I can't believe this. You're so perfect. I never thought that … "Amanda hadn't suspected that my interest in her was anything more than brotherly. And my tacit confession served only to make us acknowledge our growing affection. Besides, I was intoxicated by her remark that I was "so perfect" when, in Sarah's eyes, I seemed to be merely a husband who earned too little money and who couldn't tune up a car like her dad did."We can work through this," Amanda said. "You're moving anyway, there's no reason we can't continue our friendship until then."I suppose, deep down, I wanted to be swayed by Amanda's reasoning. We were both mature, committed Christians. And besides, I'd be moving soon. Surely we could keep a little mutual infatuation under control.
Facing the Truth
Amanda and I quickly discovered how difficult it is to take a relationship backward. Whenever we talked, it was almost impossible to avoid topics far more personal than the ministry we shared. Soon, I knew things about Amanda that no one else knew.Every time I'd start to feel a pang of guilt, I'd think, "Look, we've never kissed, and we don't even hold hands. Can this really be sinful?" Besides, our friendship was a welcome contrast to the emotional loneliness I felt at home.In an attempt to "prove" there was nothing improper going on, I encouraged Sarah to invite Amanda over for dinner. When Amanda showed up, it didn't take long for Sarah to figure out what was happening. That night, as we lay in bed, she asked, "Do you have feelings for Amanda?""What makes you ask that?""Because you look at her the way you used to look at me."My silence said everything. Sarah started to cry and for the first time in our marriage, we didn't kiss good night.
Sarah's pain opened my eyes to the truth: I was justifying my behavior with the rationalization that we'd had no physical involvement. But my emotional link with Amanda was a blatant betrayal of my marriage vows. I had hurt my wife deeply, and I could no longer pretend that what I was doing was harmless.Once the spell was broken, I had to admit that I had been using Amanda to ease the pain I felt over the emotional distance in my marriage. Was I really any better than a man who uses a woman for sexual pleasure?A Way OutSarah and I sought help from our pastor and two couples at church. While we were getting plenty of support, it seemed Amanda was expected to go it alone. I asked one of the wives to meet with her. But instead of offering support and guidance, our friend blasted Amanda with a series of accusations.Well-meaning friends were inadvertently pushing the two of us back together. I felt like I was the only one who could console Amanda. We shared the brunt of everyone's accusations, and those accusations became a new bond between us.My pastor, as well as my friends, counseled me to cut off all contact with Amanda. "Wouldn't it be cruel to just drop a friend?" I asked. What I didn't understand was that the cruelty had already taken place, and there was no nice way to end a cruel act.
When I finally cut off all ties to Amanda, my marriage wasn't miraculously transformed. But my commitment to Sarah was, and still is, absolute. Having once tried to stretch the rules—and seeing the damage that was done—I will never again knowingly allow my neediness to endanger my marriage.
There are some things Sarah and I may never share in our marriage, but there is also something we can never replace, and that is each other. The joys of building a history together may not provide the same type of excitement you feel upon discovering that another woman finds you attractive. But that sort of excitement is to the soul what too much candy is to the body—short-term pleasure followed by long-term pain.
Today, when I look at our children—two of whom wouldn't be here if our marriage had ended—and I catch the sunlight reflected off my wife's hair, I can't imagine life any other way. I was a fool to think I could ever push against the boundaries.
I don't remember the first time I saw her. That's how little of an impression Amanda made on me. There was nothing about her face, or her figure, that made her stand out. We both worked as volunteers at a local youth outreach center. I led Bible studies and she tutored kids who were struggling in school.
One evening, as we finished up a session, Amanda asked if we could get together to talk about the kids she was working with. Since I wasn't attracted to her, and since we'd be meeting in a public place, I saw no reason to refuse her request.The following week we had coffee together in a crowded restaurant. As we talked about an upcoming fundraiser for the center, I had no way of knowing that our friendship would one day threaten my marriage.
Signs of Danger
I didn't know it then, but I do now—there are intimacies far more subtle than physical touch but no less dangerous to a marriage. When Amanda and I began meeting, I didn't recognize the pressures that were building beneath the surface of my four-year-old marriage. For one thing, money was tight. I was a self-employed contractor, and my clients were often tardy with their payments. But our bills arrived with maddening regularity. Our newborn was colicky and my wife, Sarah, was exhausted. Adding to the stress was our impending move to the Midwest. I can see now that the pressure we were under created an atmosphere ripe for temptation.
Still, what happened with Amanda caught me completely off-guard.After a few meetings over coffee, I was puzzled by how much I looked forward to seeing Amanda again. I'd get an idea at work, and I'd realize I couldn't wait to share it with her. Somehow, I assumed Sarah wouldn't be as interested.In addition to our volunteer work at the youth center, Amanda and I shared an uncannily similar taste in music and literature. We began discussing the books we were reading, and our meetings grew longer and more frequent. As I got to know her compassion for others, my admiration of her literally changed the way she looked to me. One evening, as I watched her praying with a student, I realized I had become the friend of a beautiful woman.
Meanwhile, Sarah was struggling to care for our new baby and worrying about our precarious financial condition. When I'd come home excited about the way God was moving in the life of one of the students, Sarah would respond by mentioning that the bills were due and we were $200 short. She felt my spare time would be more wisely spent on a second job—not volunteering at the youth center. In fact, the more I struggled with my feelings for Amanda, the more stressed out Sarah became about our home and repairs that needed to be done. Home maintenance is not my strength, and yet it appeared to be Sarah's most cherished attribute in a husband.
Losing Control
Amanda and I had been meeting for about a month when a group from the youth center went on a weekend retreat. I began thinking about her as soon as I settled into my bunk. I imagined the walks we might take or conversations we might have, and instantly my conscience screamed out a warning: "These are thoughts you should be having about your wife! How long are you going to let this go on?"As I prayed about the situation, I realized our meetings would have to end. The next day I broke the news to her."Sarah and I will be moving to the Midwest in about a month," I began. I saw the alarm in Amanda's eyes, and took a strange comfort in knowing she would really miss me. "And, well, my family is really important to me and I don't think we should be meeting together anymore."Amanda was the type who had a small circle of friends, and she held them closely. Her voice was bruised and soft when she finally asked the ultimate question, "Why?" Without answering her directly, I reiterated how important my family was to me, and added that I didn't want to do anything that would jeopardize my marriage."You mean … " she began, then stopped. "I can't believe this. You're so perfect. I never thought that … "Amanda hadn't suspected that my interest in her was anything more than brotherly. And my tacit confession served only to make us acknowledge our growing affection. Besides, I was intoxicated by her remark that I was "so perfect" when, in Sarah's eyes, I seemed to be merely a husband who earned too little money and who couldn't tune up a car like her dad did."We can work through this," Amanda said. "You're moving anyway, there's no reason we can't continue our friendship until then."I suppose, deep down, I wanted to be swayed by Amanda's reasoning. We were both mature, committed Christians. And besides, I'd be moving soon. Surely we could keep a little mutual infatuation under control.
Facing the Truth
Amanda and I quickly discovered how difficult it is to take a relationship backward. Whenever we talked, it was almost impossible to avoid topics far more personal than the ministry we shared. Soon, I knew things about Amanda that no one else knew.Every time I'd start to feel a pang of guilt, I'd think, "Look, we've never kissed, and we don't even hold hands. Can this really be sinful?" Besides, our friendship was a welcome contrast to the emotional loneliness I felt at home.In an attempt to "prove" there was nothing improper going on, I encouraged Sarah to invite Amanda over for dinner. When Amanda showed up, it didn't take long for Sarah to figure out what was happening. That night, as we lay in bed, she asked, "Do you have feelings for Amanda?""What makes you ask that?""Because you look at her the way you used to look at me."My silence said everything. Sarah started to cry and for the first time in our marriage, we didn't kiss good night.
Sarah's pain opened my eyes to the truth: I was justifying my behavior with the rationalization that we'd had no physical involvement. But my emotional link with Amanda was a blatant betrayal of my marriage vows. I had hurt my wife deeply, and I could no longer pretend that what I was doing was harmless.Once the spell was broken, I had to admit that I had been using Amanda to ease the pain I felt over the emotional distance in my marriage. Was I really any better than a man who uses a woman for sexual pleasure?A Way OutSarah and I sought help from our pastor and two couples at church. While we were getting plenty of support, it seemed Amanda was expected to go it alone. I asked one of the wives to meet with her. But instead of offering support and guidance, our friend blasted Amanda with a series of accusations.Well-meaning friends were inadvertently pushing the two of us back together. I felt like I was the only one who could console Amanda. We shared the brunt of everyone's accusations, and those accusations became a new bond between us.My pastor, as well as my friends, counseled me to cut off all contact with Amanda. "Wouldn't it be cruel to just drop a friend?" I asked. What I didn't understand was that the cruelty had already taken place, and there was no nice way to end a cruel act.
When I finally cut off all ties to Amanda, my marriage wasn't miraculously transformed. But my commitment to Sarah was, and still is, absolute. Having once tried to stretch the rules—and seeing the damage that was done—I will never again knowingly allow my neediness to endanger my marriage.
There are some things Sarah and I may never share in our marriage, but there is also something we can never replace, and that is each other. The joys of building a history together may not provide the same type of excitement you feel upon discovering that another woman finds you attractive. But that sort of excitement is to the soul what too much candy is to the body—short-term pleasure followed by long-term pain.
Today, when I look at our children—two of whom wouldn't be here if our marriage had ended—and I catch the sunlight reflected off my wife's hair, I can't imagine life any other way. I was a fool to think I could ever push against the boundaries.
essence of trust
This is a small story...
U may have heard it before...
But a nice thought to read...
Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
The father was kind of
scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart,
please hold my hand so
that you don't fall into the river." The little girl
said, "No, Dad. You
hold my hand." "What's the difference?" asked the
puzzled father.
"There's a big difference," replied the little girl.
"If I hold your hand
and something happens to me, chances are that I may
let your hand go. But if
you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter
what happens, you will
never let my hand go." In any relationship,
" the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in
its bond. "
So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather
than expecting them to
hold urs...
This story is too short..........
But carries a lot of feeling......
Think about it........
U may have heard it before...
But a nice thought to read...
Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
The father was kind of
scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart,
please hold my hand so
that you don't fall into the river." The little girl
said, "No, Dad. You
hold my hand." "What's the difference?" asked the
puzzled father.
"There's a big difference," replied the little girl.
"If I hold your hand
and something happens to me, chances are that I may
let your hand go. But if
you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter
what happens, you will
never let my hand go." In any relationship,
" the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in
its bond. "
So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather
than expecting them to
hold urs...
This story is too short..........
But carries a lot of feeling......
Think about it........
Diet Tricks of the Stars
By Hallie Levine Sklar; Polly Blitzer; Alysia Poe; Julia Kelly
(InStyle) -- You don't have to deprive yourself of what you love. Hollywood celebrities reveal their best tricks for how to drop pounds, conquer cravings, and have your bagel and eat it too
Cameron Diaz ditches bread, pasta and cookies to drop pounds.
1. Prep with a pre-party snack -- Trainer and nutritionist Philip Goglia, who has worked with America Ferrera, suggests eating a tablespoon of almond butter or peanut butter before going out to dinner, to avoid bingeing on the basket of bread.
2. Change it up -- To make good-for-you veggies more appetizing, tweak their flavor and texture, says Jennifer Lopez's trainer, Gunnar Peterson. If you're craving creamy, sauté broccoli in olive oil and then dip it in a dollop of nonfat yogurt. Desire something spicy? Sprinkle lemon juice and cayenne pepper on cooked broccoli.
3. Divide and conquer -- "When you sit down to dinner, draw an imaginary line down the middle of your plate," says trainer Kacy Duke, whose client list includes Julianne Moore. "Put the vegetables on one side, then cut the other side in half, putting the meat or protein on one quarter and a starchy carb on the other. You've got the perfect meal!"
4. Bag those goodies -- For perfect portion control, try this tip from trainer Valerie Waters, who works with Jennifer Garner: Take a handful of munchies out of the big bag they come in, and drop them into a small ziplock bag. "We're trained to finish what's in the bag, which can be as much as 10 servings," says Waters. "This is a great way to fake yourself out."
Before the Big Event
Want to know how Cameron Diaz drops pounds in just two weeks?
Step 1: Cut out White Foods -- Trainer Teddy Bass tells clients like Cameron Diaz to ditch bread, pasta and cookies. "They have high amounts of sugar, which means your body burns off the sugar first rather than the stored fat," he says. Instead, eat five small meals each day that have lean protein and carbs in the form of fruits and veggies.
Step 2: Avoid Soda -- Even Diet Drinks -- A recent University of Texas study found that there's a 65 percent chance of being overweight for each can of soda a person drinks each day.
Step 3: Keep Track of What You Eat -- It forces you to notice what you're putting in your mouth, so you're less likely to reach for junk food.
Eats & Cheats
Jessica Biel Eats: "Jessica is already a pretty healthy eater," says her trainer Jason Walsh, "so she has been snacking on baked potato chips instead of regular ones." But Walsh has turned her on to an even better way to feel the crunch ...
Cheats: For a better alternative, Biel opens up a box of Kashi TLC 7-Grain Crackers (kashi.com, $3). They have fewer preservatives and are high in fiber, so she's satisfied with eating less. To add flavor, she dips them in hummus.
Uma Thurman Eats: Thurman's big weakness is chocolate, according to nutrition coach Jackie Keller. Her favorite of all the sweet stuff: M&M's.
Cheats: She trades these treats for a handful of semisweet chocolate chips (dark chocolate contains heart-healthy flavonoids).
Fergie Eats: Tasty? Sure. But a bagel can add up to 500 calories to your diet. So when Fergie craves carbs, her nutritionist Carrie Wiatt suggests this low-cal option.
Cheats: Fergie eats a bialy (about 100 calories) with a healthy spread made of low-fat whipped cottage cheese and 1 teaspoon chopped chives. Added on top: tomato slices.
Halle Berry Eats: Berry loves munching on popcorn, but she isn't a big fan of all that butter and salt, according to her trainer, Nancy Kennedy.
Cheats: Instead, she pops the kernels in an air popper, then sprinkles on cinnamon and a handful of fat-free Parmesan cheese. E-mail to a friend
Copyright © 2007 Time Inc. All rights reserved.
(InStyle) -- You don't have to deprive yourself of what you love. Hollywood celebrities reveal their best tricks for how to drop pounds, conquer cravings, and have your bagel and eat it too
Cameron Diaz ditches bread, pasta and cookies to drop pounds.
1. Prep with a pre-party snack -- Trainer and nutritionist Philip Goglia, who has worked with America Ferrera, suggests eating a tablespoon of almond butter or peanut butter before going out to dinner, to avoid bingeing on the basket of bread.
2. Change it up -- To make good-for-you veggies more appetizing, tweak their flavor and texture, says Jennifer Lopez's trainer, Gunnar Peterson. If you're craving creamy, sauté broccoli in olive oil and then dip it in a dollop of nonfat yogurt. Desire something spicy? Sprinkle lemon juice and cayenne pepper on cooked broccoli.
3. Divide and conquer -- "When you sit down to dinner, draw an imaginary line down the middle of your plate," says trainer Kacy Duke, whose client list includes Julianne Moore. "Put the vegetables on one side, then cut the other side in half, putting the meat or protein on one quarter and a starchy carb on the other. You've got the perfect meal!"
4. Bag those goodies -- For perfect portion control, try this tip from trainer Valerie Waters, who works with Jennifer Garner: Take a handful of munchies out of the big bag they come in, and drop them into a small ziplock bag. "We're trained to finish what's in the bag, which can be as much as 10 servings," says Waters. "This is a great way to fake yourself out."
Before the Big Event
Want to know how Cameron Diaz drops pounds in just two weeks?
Step 1: Cut out White Foods -- Trainer Teddy Bass tells clients like Cameron Diaz to ditch bread, pasta and cookies. "They have high amounts of sugar, which means your body burns off the sugar first rather than the stored fat," he says. Instead, eat five small meals each day that have lean protein and carbs in the form of fruits and veggies.
Step 2: Avoid Soda -- Even Diet Drinks -- A recent University of Texas study found that there's a 65 percent chance of being overweight for each can of soda a person drinks each day.
Step 3: Keep Track of What You Eat -- It forces you to notice what you're putting in your mouth, so you're less likely to reach for junk food.
Eats & Cheats
Jessica Biel Eats: "Jessica is already a pretty healthy eater," says her trainer Jason Walsh, "so she has been snacking on baked potato chips instead of regular ones." But Walsh has turned her on to an even better way to feel the crunch ...
Cheats: For a better alternative, Biel opens up a box of Kashi TLC 7-Grain Crackers (kashi.com, $3). They have fewer preservatives and are high in fiber, so she's satisfied with eating less. To add flavor, she dips them in hummus.
Uma Thurman Eats: Thurman's big weakness is chocolate, according to nutrition coach Jackie Keller. Her favorite of all the sweet stuff: M&M's.
Cheats: She trades these treats for a handful of semisweet chocolate chips (dark chocolate contains heart-healthy flavonoids).
Fergie Eats: Tasty? Sure. But a bagel can add up to 500 calories to your diet. So when Fergie craves carbs, her nutritionist Carrie Wiatt suggests this low-cal option.
Cheats: Fergie eats a bialy (about 100 calories) with a healthy spread made of low-fat whipped cottage cheese and 1 teaspoon chopped chives. Added on top: tomato slices.
Halle Berry Eats: Berry loves munching on popcorn, but she isn't a big fan of all that butter and salt, according to her trainer, Nancy Kennedy.
Cheats: Instead, she pops the kernels in an air popper, then sprinkles on cinnamon and a handful of fat-free Parmesan cheese. E-mail to a friend
Copyright © 2007 Time Inc. All rights reserved.
I say a little prayer for you. . . .
why is it so hard to move on and to let go?
it always pains me whenever i remember those little things
little things . . . those little things that should have been done to me and not to anybody else.
i would be a hypocrite if i will say that i never thought of fighting back.
Oh i do think of it a lot of times.
Sweet revenge, i've been really longing to do just that. . . . . just to get even.
But that is not the way i was brought-up, and that is not what i was teaching my children.
Conflicts, guilt, morals, religion, they all left me crying and wondring if life is fair.
Were the things done to me, really for me? Or was it done to me to cover up something that were done to others?
But i believe in my faith.
"Dont do to others what you dont want them to do unto you"
and whenever it pains me remembering those little things,
i say a little prayer for you and for you and for you
...for my healing
...for our healing
...for your conversion
...and for your conversion
i believe in my faith and i have my faith in you
it always pains me whenever i remember those little things
little things . . . those little things that should have been done to me and not to anybody else.
i would be a hypocrite if i will say that i never thought of fighting back.
Oh i do think of it a lot of times.
Sweet revenge, i've been really longing to do just that. . . . . just to get even.
But that is not the way i was brought-up, and that is not what i was teaching my children.
Conflicts, guilt, morals, religion, they all left me crying and wondring if life is fair.
Were the things done to me, really for me? Or was it done to me to cover up something that were done to others?
But i believe in my faith.
"Dont do to others what you dont want them to do unto you"
and whenever it pains me remembering those little things,
i say a little prayer for you and for you and for you
...for my healing
...for our healing
...for your conversion
...and for your conversion
i believe in my faith and i have my faith in you
sexy fried chicken tonight
Today, Bien had a client call somewhere in Cavite, with his Boss.
Together, they had lunch at Max's restaurant with their clients.
Tonight, he will be having a dinner with some other clients from Manila.
And to his surprise, they are choosing Max's restuarant as the place for their dinner. Of course he can not change the venue because it was the clients' choice.
He texted me and asked me what are we having for dinner. Well, I told him that we are having fried chicken for dinner. Upon hearing this he wanted to shout. "What, I had chicken for lunch, and chicken for dinner, and it's still chicken in the house!
OMG, I think I'm growing feathers now.
=)
I am missing my hubby tonight. We usually go home together, after work. But as I said he is having dinner with his clients. I must admit, I still have doubts that they still communicates and sees each other.
But to my surprise he was home early and with some pasalubong pa. I asked him why he was early that night. Usually, he goes home past 11pm when he has a dinner with a client.
He simply said, "I missed you and I'm excited to give you my pasalubong."
It was a one box of brownies for me and the kids. Yummy
I also noticed that he was wearing the maroon shirt that mom gave him years ago. He seldom wears it because, it kindda shrunk or maybe he got bigger. Anyway, he was wearing it tonight, and it looks go on him. Truly, he has a more lean body and the workout is paying off. In fact, he looked sexy. Yummy
Together, they had lunch at Max's restaurant with their clients.
Tonight, he will be having a dinner with some other clients from Manila.
And to his surprise, they are choosing Max's restuarant as the place for their dinner. Of course he can not change the venue because it was the clients' choice.
He texted me and asked me what are we having for dinner. Well, I told him that we are having fried chicken for dinner. Upon hearing this he wanted to shout. "What, I had chicken for lunch, and chicken for dinner, and it's still chicken in the house!
OMG, I think I'm growing feathers now.
=)
I am missing my hubby tonight. We usually go home together, after work. But as I said he is having dinner with his clients. I must admit, I still have doubts that they still communicates and sees each other.
But to my surprise he was home early and with some pasalubong pa. I asked him why he was early that night. Usually, he goes home past 11pm when he has a dinner with a client.
He simply said, "I missed you and I'm excited to give you my pasalubong."
It was a one box of brownies for me and the kids. Yummy
I also noticed that he was wearing the maroon shirt that mom gave him years ago. He seldom wears it because, it kindda shrunk or maybe he got bigger. Anyway, he was wearing it tonight, and it looks go on him. Truly, he has a more lean body and the workout is paying off. In fact, he looked sexy. Yummy
usual mondays
A manic monday
I woke up today so early, 30 minutes earlier than the usual. But still I was late at work.
And when my time in is late, my time out is also late. We do flexitime in our office.
I hate being late in coming home after work. When you are late in the afternoon, it would mean heavy traffic and longer hours being stuck in the traffic.And being stuck in the traffic is such a waste of time. It should be the time I'm spending with my kids and doing homework.
Anyway, hubby got home first, so he assisted kids with their homework.
He also picked me up at our village's gate. How sweet isn't.
But later scolded the kids for not finishing their lunch. Well, I guess the kids got the message. Bien really showed them that it is not acceptable to have some leftovers.
After dinner, hubby cleaned-up the table and washed the dishes. It is now my turn to help angel with her homework. Then after that, I pressed a set of their school uniforms.
It could be exhausting sometimes, but it is also a bonding moment for us.
I woke up today so early, 30 minutes earlier than the usual. But still I was late at work.
And when my time in is late, my time out is also late. We do flexitime in our office.
I hate being late in coming home after work. When you are late in the afternoon, it would mean heavy traffic and longer hours being stuck in the traffic.And being stuck in the traffic is such a waste of time. It should be the time I'm spending with my kids and doing homework.
Anyway, hubby got home first, so he assisted kids with their homework.
He also picked me up at our village's gate. How sweet isn't.
But later scolded the kids for not finishing their lunch. Well, I guess the kids got the message. Bien really showed them that it is not acceptable to have some leftovers.
After dinner, hubby cleaned-up the table and washed the dishes. It is now my turn to help angel with her homework. Then after that, I pressed a set of their school uniforms.
It could be exhausting sometimes, but it is also a bonding moment for us.
refrigerator door
we spend the morning at the gym, like what we usually do on saturdays. i did my routine twice and some cardio workout.
we had our lunch at Eastwood. we actually tried a new pasta-pizza restaurant. the food was good, i'm sure our kids will gonna love their pizza.
after lunch we went to dad's condo unit. we were supposed to wait for the service men who is going to replace dad's refrigerator door. the repairmen did came later that afternoon, as in sooooo late. they always do that coming in late.
grabe!
while waiting we watched television and talk about somebody. somebody that made bien so mad and he did not want to talk about it.
maybe i was too privy..........
or maybe i had touched his ego.........
whatever it was, we kissed and made up before we went home to our kids..
we had our lunch at Eastwood. we actually tried a new pasta-pizza restaurant. the food was good, i'm sure our kids will gonna love their pizza.
after lunch we went to dad's condo unit. we were supposed to wait for the service men who is going to replace dad's refrigerator door. the repairmen did came later that afternoon, as in sooooo late. they always do that coming in late.
grabe!
while waiting we watched television and talk about somebody. somebody that made bien so mad and he did not want to talk about it.
maybe i was too privy..........
or maybe i had touched his ego.........
whatever it was, we kissed and made up before we went home to our kids..
Dating Diaries: Ten Dating Red Flags
by Rich Santos, Marie Claire, on Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:07am PDT
When determining if you should let things get serious, remember: actions speak louder than words. With that being said, here are ten dating red flags. If you see any of these, do yourself a favor and reconsider if it's worth it for you.
1. You are not on the VIP list for breaking news
Were you the last to learn about this person's job promotion or newborn niece or nephew? Once things are serious, you should be among the first to know about exciting news, or bad news.
2. They avoid meeting your family or friends
If they are shying away from meeting your friends/family consistently, then there are problems. Even if they are very shy, they should want to meet those who are important to you.
3. They don't make any sacrifices
Healthy relationships don't require bending over backwards all the time, but a certain amount of sacrifice is necessary in a selfless union. When two of my friends first started dating one another, she demanded that he go to Farm Aid for her birthday, which was also the opening NFL football Sunday. While all the guys gathered to watch the games, he was sweltering on some field attending Farm Aid -- an event he never would have gone to if she hadn't have invited him. Now that's sacrifice.
4. They can't fit in your future
I admit it. When I meet girls, I envision future moments I may some day share with them. Most of my scenarios are her with me and my family at a Thanksgiving holiday or at a summer crabfeast. If I'm really into her, I usually relish the thought. If not, I kinda cringe.
5. They are too controlling
It's scary but I've seen many relationships where guys forbid girls to hang out with certain friends, or wear certain clothes. Major problem if someone is controlling you and not allowing you to be who you want to be within a relationship.
6. The "what are we" conversation fails miserably
Almost every relationship hits that crossroads where you both decide if it's worth taking the plunge into being exclusive and calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend. If they are confused and surprised that you're ready to get serious, the timing is not right, and you should try to figure out how long you want to wait around until they are ready.
7. They talk about plans that don't involve you
My sister has major wanderlust. She's always talking about heading off to Chicago or living in London for a year. She often talks about these things with no regard for the fact that she has a boyfriend at the time. If you find that someone is making plans or talking about far off places without inviting you along for the ride, don't let yourself get too into this person.
8. Your friends or family don't like them
Remember that your friends and family know you best. Don't take their thoughts with a grain of salt. It's one thing if a person or two don't get along with your significant other, but if a lot of them are saying you should reconsider, then do it. Unfortunately, we often find out about how much our friends hated that person after this person is gone.
9. They violated your trust
Whether it's cheating or a little lie that they got caught in, it will be hard to regain trust. Trust is something we don't give away easily, and once it's gone it's hard to get it back. We'll always be wondering about that lie, and doubt will creep in more and more as our minds fixate on that lie. Too often, people take trust for granted and once they lose it they never get it back.
10. You practice "unbalanced dating"
Are you always seeing his friends or doing things that he wants to do? Do you just let him pick the restaurants and events? Or is it the other way around? Relationships are fun when you are both able to contribute. If you're not taking turns creating fun times together, it will most likely fizzle out.
What would you add to the list? Ever been a victim of any of these red flags?
When determining if you should let things get serious, remember: actions speak louder than words. With that being said, here are ten dating red flags. If you see any of these, do yourself a favor and reconsider if it's worth it for you.
1. You are not on the VIP list for breaking news
Were you the last to learn about this person's job promotion or newborn niece or nephew? Once things are serious, you should be among the first to know about exciting news, or bad news.
2. They avoid meeting your family or friends
If they are shying away from meeting your friends/family consistently, then there are problems. Even if they are very shy, they should want to meet those who are important to you.
3. They don't make any sacrifices
Healthy relationships don't require bending over backwards all the time, but a certain amount of sacrifice is necessary in a selfless union. When two of my friends first started dating one another, she demanded that he go to Farm Aid for her birthday, which was also the opening NFL football Sunday. While all the guys gathered to watch the games, he was sweltering on some field attending Farm Aid -- an event he never would have gone to if she hadn't have invited him. Now that's sacrifice.
4. They can't fit in your future
I admit it. When I meet girls, I envision future moments I may some day share with them. Most of my scenarios are her with me and my family at a Thanksgiving holiday or at a summer crabfeast. If I'm really into her, I usually relish the thought. If not, I kinda cringe.
5. They are too controlling
It's scary but I've seen many relationships where guys forbid girls to hang out with certain friends, or wear certain clothes. Major problem if someone is controlling you and not allowing you to be who you want to be within a relationship.
6. The "what are we" conversation fails miserably
Almost every relationship hits that crossroads where you both decide if it's worth taking the plunge into being exclusive and calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend. If they are confused and surprised that you're ready to get serious, the timing is not right, and you should try to figure out how long you want to wait around until they are ready.
7. They talk about plans that don't involve you
My sister has major wanderlust. She's always talking about heading off to Chicago or living in London for a year. She often talks about these things with no regard for the fact that she has a boyfriend at the time. If you find that someone is making plans or talking about far off places without inviting you along for the ride, don't let yourself get too into this person.
8. Your friends or family don't like them
Remember that your friends and family know you best. Don't take their thoughts with a grain of salt. It's one thing if a person or two don't get along with your significant other, but if a lot of them are saying you should reconsider, then do it. Unfortunately, we often find out about how much our friends hated that person after this person is gone.
9. They violated your trust
Whether it's cheating or a little lie that they got caught in, it will be hard to regain trust. Trust is something we don't give away easily, and once it's gone it's hard to get it back. We'll always be wondering about that lie, and doubt will creep in more and more as our minds fixate on that lie. Too often, people take trust for granted and once they lose it they never get it back.
10. You practice "unbalanced dating"
Are you always seeing his friends or doing things that he wants to do? Do you just let him pick the restaurants and events? Or is it the other way around? Relationships are fun when you are both able to contribute. If you're not taking turns creating fun times together, it will most likely fizzle out.
What would you add to the list? Ever been a victim of any of these red flags?
hot choco at Starbucks
As promised Bien bought me a hot choco from Starbucks, and my favorite oatmeal cookies.
We are dating.
i was about to decline the offer because earlier that afternoon, i had some pancit with my officemates. im not sure if my tummy still has some space for a hot choco.
but what the heck, i already requested for the hot choco since yesterday. and hot choco is so hard to resist because its my favorite.
and for the best reason for having that hot choco was that i wanted to spend some time with bien alone, just like what we used to do.
what more can i ask; bien and a hot choco, a perfect combination.........and the oatmeal coookies of course.
We are dating.
i was about to decline the offer because earlier that afternoon, i had some pancit with my officemates. im not sure if my tummy still has some space for a hot choco.
but what the heck, i already requested for the hot choco since yesterday. and hot choco is so hard to resist because its my favorite.
and for the best reason for having that hot choco was that i wanted to spend some time with bien alone, just like what we used to do.
what more can i ask; bien and a hot choco, a perfect combination.........and the oatmeal coookies of course.
That glow: Celebrities with the healthiest, most gorgeous skin
Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester, Halle Berry, Sandra Oh -- who doesn't want to smile up at a camera with their amazing, glowy skin? While I ponder the fantasy of having the caramel loveliness of Eva Mendes one day and the scrubby-clean fair skin of Reese Witherspoon the next, perhaps it's time to get working on making my own face a little more camera-ready.We've all read the tips for making our skin look great a thousand times. And we've all had countless conversations with our girlfriends, mothers, the make-up counter clerk, the nice lady at Starbucks about how to finally get our faces in beautiful shape. What could we possible learn by hearing it all again?
Maybe nothing. But maybe this will be the one time we take some steps to make our skin feel healthier and look phenomenal. With that hope and with some inspirational photos of the women in Hollywood with the most gorgeous skin, here are some no-duh tips that we've never quite gotten around to implementing but still, just make good sense:
1. Sleep on it.
You know how your face feels sucked dry after one of those too fun, late-late nights? Or how ragged you felt the first year after you were up every hour with your new baby? You're not just feeling the effects of a lack of sleep, they are also showing up on your skin. There's really no other way around making this kind of investment in your skin's health other than setting a bedtime and sticking to it. You might not see the results in the morning, but wait until that 20th high school reunion, friend. It will all be revealed then.
2. Hydrate it.
Yeah yeah yeah, there's always going to be some debate about how much water you should be drinking. No matter where you side on the four glasses vs. eight glasses debate, just drink up! You will feel more alert, which means you will look more alert. Don't be afraid to serve up your skin a nice cocktail of moisturizer, too. If you're really feeling radical (or parched, either way), take a day off of make-up altogether and go on a little water-drinking, moisturizer bender. Think how perked up and pretty your skin will look after all that self-care.
3. Feed it.
If you're going to eat for energy, longevity and to keep up with your busy days, why not also eat for fabulous skin? Making small adjustments -- like adding a cup of green tea to your nightly ritual or using sunflower oil in your stirfry-- might do as much or more for your skin's glow as all the products on your bathroom counter.
4. Protect it.
I admit that as the seasons change, I have a bad and unconscious habit of stowing the sunscreen away as soon as I pack up my sandals. The reality is that we can still get loads of exposure to harmful UVA and UVB rays when it is cloudy and we do need the protection of sunscreen all year round. The two seconds it takes to slather on a bit of block means you will be guarding your skin from sunburns today and from cancer, wrinkles and sunspots in the years to come. And hello! Have you seen Nicole Kidman's porcelain skin? It's gorgeous, even under that giant hat and what has to be a pint of sunscreen.
5. Gently address the sins of your skin past.
Acne scars, sun damage and other skin ickiness is a reality for most of our faces. Sure, I'd love to have the baby-soft, wrinkle-free skin of my 20s, but no product, nap or gallon of water is going to make that happen magically. Rather than worry too much about the little flaws (the worrying, by the way, causes me to make one of those scrunched up faces that cannot exactly be erasing the little lines, can it?), be kind to the body you have now. See a dermatologist (who doesn't yell -- sometimes a trick to find), try some gentle products that will fade scars, clear up dark circles and banish the blemishes making an appearance now. Healing will happen and in the meantime, use a bit of concealer until it's all sorted out.
Maybe nothing. But maybe this will be the one time we take some steps to make our skin feel healthier and look phenomenal. With that hope and with some inspirational photos of the women in Hollywood with the most gorgeous skin, here are some no-duh tips that we've never quite gotten around to implementing but still, just make good sense:
1. Sleep on it.
You know how your face feels sucked dry after one of those too fun, late-late nights? Or how ragged you felt the first year after you were up every hour with your new baby? You're not just feeling the effects of a lack of sleep, they are also showing up on your skin. There's really no other way around making this kind of investment in your skin's health other than setting a bedtime and sticking to it. You might not see the results in the morning, but wait until that 20th high school reunion, friend. It will all be revealed then.
2. Hydrate it.
Yeah yeah yeah, there's always going to be some debate about how much water you should be drinking. No matter where you side on the four glasses vs. eight glasses debate, just drink up! You will feel more alert, which means you will look more alert. Don't be afraid to serve up your skin a nice cocktail of moisturizer, too. If you're really feeling radical (or parched, either way), take a day off of make-up altogether and go on a little water-drinking, moisturizer bender. Think how perked up and pretty your skin will look after all that self-care.
3. Feed it.
If you're going to eat for energy, longevity and to keep up with your busy days, why not also eat for fabulous skin? Making small adjustments -- like adding a cup of green tea to your nightly ritual or using sunflower oil in your stirfry-- might do as much or more for your skin's glow as all the products on your bathroom counter.
4. Protect it.
I admit that as the seasons change, I have a bad and unconscious habit of stowing the sunscreen away as soon as I pack up my sandals. The reality is that we can still get loads of exposure to harmful UVA and UVB rays when it is cloudy and we do need the protection of sunscreen all year round. The two seconds it takes to slather on a bit of block means you will be guarding your skin from sunburns today and from cancer, wrinkles and sunspots in the years to come. And hello! Have you seen Nicole Kidman's porcelain skin? It's gorgeous, even under that giant hat and what has to be a pint of sunscreen.
5. Gently address the sins of your skin past.
Acne scars, sun damage and other skin ickiness is a reality for most of our faces. Sure, I'd love to have the baby-soft, wrinkle-free skin of my 20s, but no product, nap or gallon of water is going to make that happen magically. Rather than worry too much about the little flaws (the worrying, by the way, causes me to make one of those scrunched up faces that cannot exactly be erasing the little lines, can it?), be kind to the body you have now. See a dermatologist (who doesn't yell -- sometimes a trick to find), try some gentle products that will fade scars, clear up dark circles and banish the blemishes making an appearance now. Healing will happen and in the meantime, use a bit of concealer until it's all sorted out.
employees council
As i was on leave yesterday, it was our election day for the new set of officers for our employees council.
The whole day all my officemates were telling me that I almost won a slot for as one of the new officer. As a rule, we were supposed to elect three officers for out business unit. One of my officemate even campaigned for me. But I told them, even when I am not around my guardian angel is taking care of me.
And to everybody's surprise, the person who campaigned from me was elected as one of the officers.
Truly what goes around comes around!
The whole day all my officemates were telling me that I almost won a slot for as one of the new officer. As a rule, we were supposed to elect three officers for out business unit. One of my officemate even campaigned for me. But I told them, even when I am not around my guardian angel is taking care of me.
And to everybody's surprise, the person who campaigned from me was elected as one of the officers.
Truly what goes around comes around!
old greeting cards and love letters
today i stayed home, and did not go to work. my mother-in-law has to be somewhere else, so i stayed home. somebody has to be here when my kids arrive from school.
first, i did some laundry. then, i cleaned our two rooms.
while cleaning the last room, i stumbled upon my old love letter box. i opened it to see if all my letters are still neatly piled inside the box. just recently, i learned that my letter girl has been doing some digging with my things. its ok though, she is a very curious and adventurous girl
It was a rediscovery time for me, while reading our old cards and love letters and diaries. All these items were exchange during our college years, and some years after graduation.
Our "good old tweetums days".
I must admit reading these things brought tears, and the feeling of falling in love again.
I realized that doing this is like a good theraphy. It makes me feel better. And it somewhat renewed my faith in my marriage and my faith to my husband
first, i did some laundry. then, i cleaned our two rooms.
while cleaning the last room, i stumbled upon my old love letter box. i opened it to see if all my letters are still neatly piled inside the box. just recently, i learned that my letter girl has been doing some digging with my things. its ok though, she is a very curious and adventurous girl
It was a rediscovery time for me, while reading our old cards and love letters and diaries. All these items were exchange during our college years, and some years after graduation.
Our "good old tweetums days".
I must admit reading these things brought tears, and the feeling of falling in love again.
I realized that doing this is like a good theraphy. It makes me feel better. And it somewhat renewed my faith in my marriage and my faith to my husband
our highlights
may 12, '94 - bien's 1st meeting with my dad
apr 17, '94 - nahilo si bien sa binan, overnight
may 15, '94 - bien gave me kerokeropi
feb 21, '94 - naglayas si racquel sleep kami kila bien
dec 29, '93 - told mom we are still on
dec 11 '93 - went ot talisay, overnight with ate willa
sept 3, '93 -
aug 30, 93 - my lolo died at the age aged 81
aug '93 - jurassic park
may 25, 93 - max candy
mar 15, 1993 - paco park
jan 4, 1992 - gave bien native slippers
nov 15, '91 - at bernard's birthday at pasay
oct 12, '91 - our first kiss
july 4,'91 - Thursday officially bf/gf
oct 3'90 - disclosure at Ma'am Redona's Integral Calculus class. Bien has a cruch on me.
as early as 1992 we bien called me babes, babe, baby, bhe.
our motto: "love you, for keeps, forever."
jan 98 - ****
feb 08 - ****
apr 17, '94 - nahilo si bien sa binan, overnight
may 15, '94 - bien gave me kerokeropi
feb 21, '94 - naglayas si racquel sleep kami kila bien
dec 29, '93 - told mom we are still on
dec 11 '93 - went ot talisay, overnight with ate willa
sept 3, '93 -
aug 30, 93 - my lolo died at the age aged 81
aug '93 - jurassic park
may 25, 93 - max candy
mar 15, 1993 - paco park
jan 4, 1992 - gave bien native slippers
nov 15, '91 - at bernard's birthday at pasay
oct 12, '91 - our first kiss
july 4,'91 - Thursday officially bf/gf
oct 3'90 - disclosure at Ma'am Redona's Integral Calculus class. Bien has a cruch on me.
as early as 1992 we bien called me babes, babe, baby, bhe.
our motto: "love you, for keeps, forever."
jan 98 - ****
feb 08 - ****
Nutrition Habits for a Healthier You
Posted Mon, Jan 07, 2008, 10:28 am PST
We do many things in life without even thinking about it. And many of these things we do while we're on "autopilot" are habits. Because we have to eat every day, and because we often don't put too much thought into our meals, eating is a great place to work on habits.
Think about some of the things you do each day around eating. While you can't change everything at once, small changes can make a big difference in your overall health. Use this list of dos and don'ts to create some new habits for healthy nutrition.
1. Don't skip meals; plan for three meals each day.
2. Start reading food labels so you'll become more aware of what you're putting into your body.
3. Plan for healthier snack choices at work.
4. Between lunch and dinner each day, aim for five servings of fruits and vegetables.
5. Stop adding salt to foods.
6. Eat nothing after 8 p.m.
7. Try a new food each week, to help you introduce more variety into your diet.
8. Eat less meat to reduce your fat and cholesterol intake.
9. Make sure that your breads, cereals, pastas, and crackers are made with whole grains.
10. Pick just one item from this list or come up with your own habit for healthier eating. Write it down, and try it for at least 30 days. Don't try to change more than one habit at a time.
In 30 days, your healthier choice may become a habit that you'll continue doing. If it does, reward yourself (not with food) and pick another eating habit to work on. No matter what, you'll have had 30 days of healthier eating.
What are some eating habits you're working on for a healthier body?
© 2007 Johns Hopkins University. All Rights Reserved. This article from Johns Hopkins University is provided as a service by Yahoo. All materials are produced independently by Johns Hopkins University, which is solely responsible for its content.
We do many things in life without even thinking about it. And many of these things we do while we're on "autopilot" are habits. Because we have to eat every day, and because we often don't put too much thought into our meals, eating is a great place to work on habits.
Think about some of the things you do each day around eating. While you can't change everything at once, small changes can make a big difference in your overall health. Use this list of dos and don'ts to create some new habits for healthy nutrition.
1. Don't skip meals; plan for three meals each day.
2. Start reading food labels so you'll become more aware of what you're putting into your body.
3. Plan for healthier snack choices at work.
4. Between lunch and dinner each day, aim for five servings of fruits and vegetables.
5. Stop adding salt to foods.
6. Eat nothing after 8 p.m.
7. Try a new food each week, to help you introduce more variety into your diet.
8. Eat less meat to reduce your fat and cholesterol intake.
9. Make sure that your breads, cereals, pastas, and crackers are made with whole grains.
10. Pick just one item from this list or come up with your own habit for healthier eating. Write it down, and try it for at least 30 days. Don't try to change more than one habit at a time.
In 30 days, your healthier choice may become a habit that you'll continue doing. If it does, reward yourself (not with food) and pick another eating habit to work on. No matter what, you'll have had 30 days of healthier eating.
What are some eating habits you're working on for a healthier body?
© 2007 Johns Hopkins University. All Rights Reserved. This article from Johns Hopkins University is provided as a service by Yahoo. All materials are produced independently by Johns Hopkins University, which is solely responsible for its content.
how to resolve a quarrel
how to resolve a quarrel
1. maturity level
2.
3. the purpose is not to critize but to convert
1. maturity level
2.
3. the purpose is not to critize but to convert
pomerinian
This is the first jigsaw puzzle we made. Yes it is "WE", the four of us.
The puzzle has 300 pieces. The kids were really excited doing this puzzle.
In fact, they finished doing this puzzle in less than a month.
Now it is hanging on the wall in our living room.
When she earns more than he does
Professor: Wives rated marital quality higher when husbands were primary earners
One top-earning wife would rather work part time, spend more time with son
Author: Top-earning husbands can "buy" their way out of chores at home
(LifeWire) -- When Barrie Worflar of Bloomfield, New Jersey, was unexpectedly laid off in April 2007 from his job as assistant branch manager of a bank, he found work as a representative in a benefits call center. He also took a $10,000 pay cut.
Breadwinning wives tend to actively uphold traditional familial roles, says a sociology professor.
End result? His wife, Helen Freire, makes almost twice the money he does.
Worflar isn't one of those men who thinks the husband should be the sole or even primary breadwinner. He doesn't mind at all that Freire, a health savings account administrator and team supervisor, out-earns him. What he does mind, however, is that he can't contribute to the family budget the way he'd like to.
"It's a big blow to ego," he says. "A lot of the time I feel like I am holding the family back from obtaining the things we want, such as a house, car, vacations, another child."
Freire doesn't mind being a working mom, either, although she does admit that she'd prefer to be able to work less.
"As a woman, (earning more) makes me feel empowered, like I don't need to rely financially on my husband," says Freire. However, she confesses, "I'd be happier working a part-time job to enjoy some quality time with our son."
Job or family first?
Women like Freire often struggle with balancing professional and parental obligations, says Steven Nock, professor of sociology at the University of Virginia.
"We haven't quite figured out how to arrange our lives so that both partners are working full-time and still have time to have a family life," he says.
Nock found that wives rated their marital quality as higher when husbands were the primary earners, according to a study published in 2006 that he co-authored. Notably, he says, their dissatisfaction was due to the lack of time they had to devote to their children.
"Since most parents still give the female most of the responsibility for family care and child rearing... (it's) difficult for the women working full-time to manage what they want to do as mothers," he says.
Who's the breadwinner?
Other couples instead struggle with who should (or shouldn't) be bringing home the bacon in the first place.
"They're struggling against the reality that she's earning more, but sometimes both of them -- the husband and the wife -- feel like the man should be the one who's earning more. It's hard to let go of that expectation." says Veronica Tichenor, professor of sociology at the State University of New York Institute of Technology and author of "Earning More and Getting Less: Why Successful Wives Can't Buy Equality."
Moreover, financial superiority may not afford women power, as it generally does for men.
When a man is financially responsible for a family's well being, it usually "buys" him out of household chores, according to Tichenor's research. He also tends to control the purse strings and be the decision maker. However, the same standards don't apply when women are the primary earners. In fact, breadwinning wives actively uphold traditional familial roles by still doing more housework and deferring financial control to their husbands, Tichenor says.
That's not the case for Worflar and Freire. Although they both work full time, they maintain an equitable division of household duties and caring for their 4-year-old son, Aidan.
"Although she makes more money then I, we still tend to discuss things that affect the family," Worflar says.
Talking it over
When it comes to addressing the fact that one member of a couple earns significantly more than the other, reigning in financial disputes through communication is key.
"Financials are one of the primary ways that a couple determines who has primary hierarchical status," says Suzanne Baldwin, a Norfolk, Virginia-based marriage and family therapist. Baldwin outlines these steps for keeping the peace:
• Be open to hearing the other side. If a husband is feeling emasculated, remind him that money should not be the basis of power in a relationship, and reassure him that other contributions he's made -- be it making dinner or fixing broken things around the house -- are valuable to the marriage.
• Maintain a fair division of labor. To avoid one party feeling like they have the brunt of house and family issues, try independently writing lists of what needs to be taken care of, and then compare lists, suggests Baldwin.
• Ask yourself what were your goals before finances shifted, and have your goals or values changed? "Maybe there's been a shift in contribution, but are they still working toward the same thing?" asks Baldwin.
• Set aside specific times to talk about financial issues, and don't discuss them at other times to avoid it coloring all conversations.
• Separate short-term priorities from long-term priorities. If the couple's aim is to have the husband be the primary breadwinner, remember that it won't happen overnight. In such a case, it may behoove the couple to have financial discussions every six months instead of every month.
LifeWire provides original and syndicated lifestyle content to Web publishers. Jocelyn Voo is a freelance journalist and relationships editor at the New York Post
One top-earning wife would rather work part time, spend more time with son
Author: Top-earning husbands can "buy" their way out of chores at home
(LifeWire) -- When Barrie Worflar of Bloomfield, New Jersey, was unexpectedly laid off in April 2007 from his job as assistant branch manager of a bank, he found work as a representative in a benefits call center. He also took a $10,000 pay cut.
Breadwinning wives tend to actively uphold traditional familial roles, says a sociology professor.
End result? His wife, Helen Freire, makes almost twice the money he does.
Worflar isn't one of those men who thinks the husband should be the sole or even primary breadwinner. He doesn't mind at all that Freire, a health savings account administrator and team supervisor, out-earns him. What he does mind, however, is that he can't contribute to the family budget the way he'd like to.
"It's a big blow to ego," he says. "A lot of the time I feel like I am holding the family back from obtaining the things we want, such as a house, car, vacations, another child."
Freire doesn't mind being a working mom, either, although she does admit that she'd prefer to be able to work less.
"As a woman, (earning more) makes me feel empowered, like I don't need to rely financially on my husband," says Freire. However, she confesses, "I'd be happier working a part-time job to enjoy some quality time with our son."
Job or family first?
Women like Freire often struggle with balancing professional and parental obligations, says Steven Nock, professor of sociology at the University of Virginia.
"We haven't quite figured out how to arrange our lives so that both partners are working full-time and still have time to have a family life," he says.
Nock found that wives rated their marital quality as higher when husbands were the primary earners, according to a study published in 2006 that he co-authored. Notably, he says, their dissatisfaction was due to the lack of time they had to devote to their children.
"Since most parents still give the female most of the responsibility for family care and child rearing... (it's) difficult for the women working full-time to manage what they want to do as mothers," he says.
Who's the breadwinner?
Other couples instead struggle with who should (or shouldn't) be bringing home the bacon in the first place.
"They're struggling against the reality that she's earning more, but sometimes both of them -- the husband and the wife -- feel like the man should be the one who's earning more. It's hard to let go of that expectation." says Veronica Tichenor, professor of sociology at the State University of New York Institute of Technology and author of "Earning More and Getting Less: Why Successful Wives Can't Buy Equality."
Moreover, financial superiority may not afford women power, as it generally does for men.
When a man is financially responsible for a family's well being, it usually "buys" him out of household chores, according to Tichenor's research. He also tends to control the purse strings and be the decision maker. However, the same standards don't apply when women are the primary earners. In fact, breadwinning wives actively uphold traditional familial roles by still doing more housework and deferring financial control to their husbands, Tichenor says.
That's not the case for Worflar and Freire. Although they both work full time, they maintain an equitable division of household duties and caring for their 4-year-old son, Aidan.
"Although she makes more money then I, we still tend to discuss things that affect the family," Worflar says.
Talking it over
When it comes to addressing the fact that one member of a couple earns significantly more than the other, reigning in financial disputes through communication is key.
"Financials are one of the primary ways that a couple determines who has primary hierarchical status," says Suzanne Baldwin, a Norfolk, Virginia-based marriage and family therapist. Baldwin outlines these steps for keeping the peace:
• Be open to hearing the other side. If a husband is feeling emasculated, remind him that money should not be the basis of power in a relationship, and reassure him that other contributions he's made -- be it making dinner or fixing broken things around the house -- are valuable to the marriage.
• Maintain a fair division of labor. To avoid one party feeling like they have the brunt of house and family issues, try independently writing lists of what needs to be taken care of, and then compare lists, suggests Baldwin.
• Ask yourself what were your goals before finances shifted, and have your goals or values changed? "Maybe there's been a shift in contribution, but are they still working toward the same thing?" asks Baldwin.
• Set aside specific times to talk about financial issues, and don't discuss them at other times to avoid it coloring all conversations.
• Separate short-term priorities from long-term priorities. If the couple's aim is to have the husband be the primary breadwinner, remember that it won't happen overnight. In such a case, it may behoove the couple to have financial discussions every six months instead of every month.
LifeWire provides original and syndicated lifestyle content to Web publishers. Jocelyn Voo is a freelance journalist and relationships editor at the New York Post
Basic Weight Loss Mistakes
By Gabrielle Reece Provided by: gotogabby.com
Posted Wed, Sep 03, 2008, 4:12 pm PDT
A lot of us are out there watching what we eat and exercising, but still not making a dent in our bellies and body weight. There are a few things we are probably not doing, or doing too much of, that would mean major improvements in our health.
Get more sleep.
After a very short period of time (about 6 nights), studies show that your glucose levels can rise if you get only 4 to 7 hours of sleep each night. New parents are excluded, but everyone else should try to hit the 8 hour mark as often as you can and get to bed BEFORE midnight. Every hour of rest before 12 a.m. is twice as valuable as the hours after midnight: Our cortisol levels are lowest before midnight therefore our recovery is the highest.
Eating fewer refined and processed foods. Avoid fast and fried food and try to consume as many real foods as you can. It's also imperative to get enough fiber (helps with elimination); fruits and veggies are a great way to fill up.
Avoid sugary drinks and reach for more water.
Water is great for so many things like digestion, eliminating toxins in the body, and transporting important nutrients to our cells which need energy to burn calories. Americans drink 20% of their calories, so be careful of that silent pitfall.
Get to know your kitchen.
I realize it takes more work, but the simple truth is we eat out or order in too often. There is a greater opportunity to control what is in your food if you cook it yourself.
Slow down.
When you do sit down to a meal, don't wolf it down. Our culture encourages eating while driving or sitting at our desks. The only time we seem to sit down and enjoy our food is at Thanksgiving. The monks chew each bite of food 100 times (which is excessive), but they also eat only until they are full. They recognize that chewing their food more makes it easier for the body to digest.
Breathe.
There are so many days that I don't breathe deeply. In the morning, mid-afternoon, and at the end of the day take a 10 conscious, belly-deep breaths. Close your eyes, pull that air deep into your stomach via your nose and let all the junk out through your mouth. Whether its a stressful day, or you just want to start and end your day on the right foot, breathing is important.
Don't starve yourself.
Oddly enough some of you may not be eating enough, and the lack of calories is putting your body into save mode. Our bodies are so brilliant, and if they aren't getting enough food, your metabolism will tell your body to store each and every calorie it receives or to make energy from whatever muscle tissue you have. Not good. Oh and by the way, don't skip breakfast. People who skip breakfast are over 4 times more likely to be overweight.
Do more than exercise.
Even if you are working out, you can't eat and drink whatever you want. It really is a three sided puzzle: balancing exercise, food, and (oh yes) the spirit (which stress and happiness play into).
I wish you the greatest of success, and remember, being healthy is like making your bed. It really is something we have to work at everyday.
2007 Gabrielle Reece . All Rights Reserved.
Posted Wed, Sep 03, 2008, 4:12 pm PDT
A lot of us are out there watching what we eat and exercising, but still not making a dent in our bellies and body weight. There are a few things we are probably not doing, or doing too much of, that would mean major improvements in our health.
Get more sleep.
After a very short period of time (about 6 nights), studies show that your glucose levels can rise if you get only 4 to 7 hours of sleep each night. New parents are excluded, but everyone else should try to hit the 8 hour mark as often as you can and get to bed BEFORE midnight. Every hour of rest before 12 a.m. is twice as valuable as the hours after midnight: Our cortisol levels are lowest before midnight therefore our recovery is the highest.
Eating fewer refined and processed foods. Avoid fast and fried food and try to consume as many real foods as you can. It's also imperative to get enough fiber (helps with elimination); fruits and veggies are a great way to fill up.
Avoid sugary drinks and reach for more water.
Water is great for so many things like digestion, eliminating toxins in the body, and transporting important nutrients to our cells which need energy to burn calories. Americans drink 20% of their calories, so be careful of that silent pitfall.
Get to know your kitchen.
I realize it takes more work, but the simple truth is we eat out or order in too often. There is a greater opportunity to control what is in your food if you cook it yourself.
Slow down.
When you do sit down to a meal, don't wolf it down. Our culture encourages eating while driving or sitting at our desks. The only time we seem to sit down and enjoy our food is at Thanksgiving. The monks chew each bite of food 100 times (which is excessive), but they also eat only until they are full. They recognize that chewing their food more makes it easier for the body to digest.
Breathe.
There are so many days that I don't breathe deeply. In the morning, mid-afternoon, and at the end of the day take a 10 conscious, belly-deep breaths. Close your eyes, pull that air deep into your stomach via your nose and let all the junk out through your mouth. Whether its a stressful day, or you just want to start and end your day on the right foot, breathing is important.
Don't starve yourself.
Oddly enough some of you may not be eating enough, and the lack of calories is putting your body into save mode. Our bodies are so brilliant, and if they aren't getting enough food, your metabolism will tell your body to store each and every calorie it receives or to make energy from whatever muscle tissue you have. Not good. Oh and by the way, don't skip breakfast. People who skip breakfast are over 4 times more likely to be overweight.
Do more than exercise.
Even if you are working out, you can't eat and drink whatever you want. It really is a three sided puzzle: balancing exercise, food, and (oh yes) the spirit (which stress and happiness play into).
I wish you the greatest of success, and remember, being healthy is like making your bed. It really is something we have to work at everyday.
2007 Gabrielle Reece . All Rights Reserved.
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