When co-workers play dirty

By Mary Lorenz

Here's what to do when a co-worker resorts to sabotage and backstabbing
Don't be afraid to confront your co-worker directly
Confront the person face-to-face rather than by e-mail
Don't make the discussion personal and pick your battles wisely

Editor's note: CNN.com has a business partnership with CareerBuilder.com, which serves as the exclusive provider of job listings and services to CNN.com.


The Bears have the Packers, Alexander Hamilton had Aaron Burr, and Betty had Veronica. From sports to politics to pop culture, rivalries exist everywhere there's the potential for competition, and the workplace is no exception.
Rivalry between colleagues isn't rare.
Oftentimes, it's harmless and could even be a healthy morale booster. Whether you covet the boss's attention or are vying for that promotion, you're all probably trying to stand out among the crowd, a task that requires working that much harder and being that much more productive to get a leg up.
But when a colleague stops playing fair and starts playing dirty, the "competition" can quickly go from exciting to excruciating.
When a co-worker resorts to sabotage and backstabbing in attempts to climb the corporate ladder, what's an office underdog to do?
The best bet, according to Stephen Viscusi, author of "On the Job: How to Make it in the Real World of Work," is to face the problem head on.
"We call these people 'frenemies"' in the workplace," Viscusi says. "Often, they end up sabotaging themselves; however, those that don't sabotage themselves, need to be confronted directly."
Backstabbing co-workers operate under the assumption that no one will challenge them, so they usually back down when someone actually does.
Viscusi provides the following list of "dos" and "don'ts" to follow when confronting your workplace rival:
• Don't be afraid to confront your co-worker directly. "They are really just bullies and assume that most people will simply 'roll over,'" Viscusi says.
• Do confront the person face-to-face rather than try to conduct a discussion via e-mail. E-mails can be used against you or may be misinterpreted.
• Don't make the discussion personal. Keep it short and limited to real workplace issues.
• Do pick your battles wisely.
• Don't assume that frenemies ever change on their own. They usually don't.
If confrontation doesn't work, Elizabeth Freedman, author of "WORK 101: Learning the Ropes of the Workplace without Hanging Yourself," offers another approach.
She says, "If you're working with an idea-stealer or someone who takes credit for your hard work, think like a lawyer."


Use the following advice:
1. Gather witnesses.
Make sure other people know what you're working on as often as you can. For example, if you're working on a brochure, make sure you copy everyone who is involved in the project in e-mails, voice-mails and memos. so you have proof that you were the one doing the work.
2. Gather evidence.
Keep a running report of everything you've been working on, so that you have a paper trail of your efforts. This practice is particularly a good idea because "you never know when you'll need HR to intervene if things get particularly ugly."
Finally -- and perhaps most importantly -- "don't even consider stooping to your miserable co-worker's level," Freedman says.
While you shouldn't have to accept mistreatment, if you start playing games, spreading gossip or engaging in other unprofessional behavior, you will risk damaging your own reputation.
"No awful co-worker is worth that." E-mail to a friend


Copyright CareerBuilder.com 2007. All rights reserved. The information contained in this article may not be published, broadcast or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority
All About Worklife

FROM JULIE YAP DAZA

I just want to share that two years ago, I went to see St. Therese's
remains when it was put on display in the CarmeliteChurch. I went there
because I was curious what was this euphoria about the world's youngest
saint whose job is to grant people's wishes?

So I went with friend Lyn and I must admit the life of the little child,
Therese, intrigued me. It turned out she was a child who wanted to serve
her God more than anything else in the world. Thus, in every chore that
she did: even watering the plants, she performed it like it was for her
Master.

Since all her siblings were Carmelite nuns, she became a nun herself, the
youngest (12?) to be allowed inside the conven t. So we're talking of a
pure "uncorrupted soul". And then she died.

But she left a journal (suggested reading!)which contained all her
thoughts about God, love and life. Since then she became the saint who
grants all wishes.

Believe it or not, my wish was granted! Not because I said a novena but
knowing about her life and reading her works inspired me and made me more
patient and persevering.

According to religious beliefs, St. Therese was known as: "The Little
Flower". Whenever you ask for intercession to her for a miracle, she will
send you a rose in one form or another when the miracle has been granted.
You may smell rose's, receive a rose by visual means, etc.

REMEMBER to make a wish before you read the poem. That's all you have to
do. There is nothing attached. This is a powerful novena. Do not break
this, please. Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive. There is no
cost but a lot of reward. Let's continue praying for one another.

Make a wish before you read this poem...
May today there be peace within.
May you trust your highest power that you are exactly where you are meant
to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that
has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into our bones, and allow your soul the freedom
to sing, dance, and to bask in the sun. It is there for each and every one
of you.

________________________________________________________________

Mission Control

Do you have control issues? Do you tell your partner how he or she should drive or how to get things done? Learn how to be comfortable when not in controlBy Neil Fiore, Ph.D.

Question: Why do I feel so uncomfortable when I'm not in control?


Answer:Control vs. Trust


Like so many counterproductive habits, trying to control others can be a way of coping with insecurities. What's to fear? How about your survival and safety? If your sense of trust in the world -- and in your parents -- was broken at an early age because of natural disasters, illness or war, for example, you learn to cope alone and try to control as much as you can without relying on others. This can cause you to become hyper-vigilant and alert to your surroundings, often making it difficult for you to sleep, enjoy vacations or just relax.


Control Is Addictive.

Once you've had a taste of control, you'll find you always need more

Once you've had a taste of control, you'll find you always need more; you won't be able to have enough control to feel secure, safe and invulnerable to loss and pain. Why? Because our security in this world is limited and there's no guarantee that you'll be invulnerable to hurt and loss. If, for example, you have a family history of money worries, you might try to control your partner's spending by creating a strict budget. Trying to control his or her spending won't solve your addiction to control or your insecurity about money. Even having more money won't cure your habit of trying to calm these worries; you'll just be grabbing for more control.


The Solution: Let Go and Discover You're Supported

When you first learn to swim, you use your muscles to struggle and stay afloat. When you're exhausted from all the hard work, you then discover the water holds your body and you can float almost effortlessly. It's the same with learning to let go of struggle and control: you'll find that you are held by the earth, a chair, a bed and your body's ability to relax.
You can begin by experimenting with accepting the fact that

you are human and, therefore, vulnerable to hurt and loss and joyful surprises

you are human and, therefore, vulnerable to hurt and loss and joyful surprises, regardless of how much control you try to have. Some of my most vigilant and controlling clients learned to relax their need for control by first consciously letting go of their breath. They overcame their insomnia and controlling habits very slowly. They began by observing that when you let go of holding your breath and muscles, your body takes care of inhaling, and the chair and the floor support you without much effort on your part. So let's give it a try.



Try Three-part Breathing
Inhale.
Hold your breath while tightening your muscles.
Exhale slowly and completely as you float down into the support of the chair and floor.
Perform this three-part breathing a few more times with your eyes closed so you really feel the experience of letting go and finding that you are supported by the chair, the laws of nature and your body's wisdom.
Repeat this exercise throughout your day whenever you feel insecure or become aware of the impulse to control others. Soon you'll discover you can let go of muscle tension and build a sense of connection with a trustworthy support system. You'll be teaching your body and your conscious mind and ego they don't have to struggle alone. You'll be accessing more of your brainpower, thereby becoming more effective and efficient with less effort. That'll make you breathe easy.

The 12 germiest places in your life

Soap up! The 12 germiest places in your life .
Could your purse be making you sick? 'Health' magazine on lurking viruses http://workplace.gojo.com/resources

Sure, there are outbreaks of microbes and viruses across the country, but some of these germs are lurking where you least expect them. "Health" magazine senior editor Frances Largeman-Roth pinpoints the 12 germiest places you're likely to encounter during an average day and devises ways for you to keep clean. After all, the fight is in your hands. Literally. Eighty percent of infections are spread through hand contact. So wash up, people, and get ready to wage a bit of germ warfare of your own :

1. Your kitchen sink
Kitchen sinks are dirtier than most bathrooms. There are typically more than 500,000 bacteria per square inch in the drain alone. Plus your sponge, basin and faucet handles are crawling with bacteria as well.
Reduce the risk : Clean your kitchen counters and sink with an antibacterial product after preparing or cleansing food, especially raw fruits and vegetables, which carry lots of potential pathogens like salmonella, campylobacter and E. coli. Wash your hands as well with warm, soapy water for 20 seconds (long enough to sing "Happy Birthday"). Sanitize sponges by running them through the dishwasher's drying cycle, which will kill 99.9 percent of bacteria on them. As for the sink, clean it twice a week with a solution of one tablespoon of chlorine bleach and one quart of water. Scrub the basin, the pour solution down the drain.

2. Airplane bathrooms
It may not be a shock that there are a huge number of germs in most public bathrooms, but experts agree the cramped and overused ones on airplanes are the worst. There are often traces of E. coli or fecal bacteria on the faucets and door handles because it's hard to wash hands in the tiny sinks. And the volcanic flush of the commode tends to spew particles into the air, coating the floor and walls with whatever had been swirling around in it.
Reduce the risk : Toilet seats are surprisingly clean, but use the paper cover when available. After using the toilet, wash and dry your hands thoroughly, and use a paper towel to handle the toilet seat, lid, tap and doorknob. Put the lid down before you flush. If there's no lid, turn your back to the toilet while flushing and beat a hasty retreat.

3. A load of wet laundry
Any time you transfer underwear from the washer to the dryer, you're getting E. coli on your hands. Just one soiled undergarment can spread bacteria to the whole load and machine.
Reduce the risk: Run your washer at 150 degrees (you can check the temperature of your washing-machine water with a candy thermometer) and wash whites with bleach (not the color-safe type; it doesn't pack the same punch), which kills 99.9 percent of bugs. Transfer wet laundry to the dryer quickly so germs don't multiply, wash underwear separately (there's about a gram of feces in every pair of dirty underwear) and dry for at least 45 minutes. Wash your hands after laundering.

4. Public drinking fountains
Drinking fountains are bound to be germy, but school fountains are the worst, with anywhere from 62,000 to 2.7 million bacteria per square inch on the spigot.
Reduce the risk: Send your child to school with plenty of their own beverages and tell them to wash their hands throughout the day.

5. Shopping cart handles
Saliva, bacteria and fecal matter are just a few of the substances found on shopping cart handles. Cart handles rank high on the yuck scale because they're handled by dozens of people every day and, of course, raw food carries nasty pathogens.
Reduce the risk: Many stores have dispensers with disinfectant wipes near the carts. If your store doesn't, bring your own wipes and give the handle a quick swab. Or carry along a cart cover like the Grip-Guard or Healthy Handle.

6. ATM buttons
If you're not careful, you might pick up more than quick cash from your local ATM. These buttons have more gunk on them than most public-bathroom doorknobs! ATMs aren't frequently cleaned, and are regularly touched — a perfect combination for a lot of germs.
Reduce the risk: Carry an alcohol-based hand sanitizer with you and rub it on hands after visits. Also be sure to do it after you handle paper money, which actually carries quite a few germs, too.

7. Your handbag
Recent studies found that most women's purses had tens of thousands of bacteria on the bottom and a few were overrun with millions. Another study found bugs like pseudomonas (which can cause eye infections) and skin-infection-causing staphylococcus bacteria, as well as salmonella and E. coli.
Reduce the risk: Instead of slinging your bag on the floor, hang it on a hook whenever possible — especially in public bathrooms — and keep your bag off the kitchen counter. Stick with leather or vinyl purses, which are typically cleaner than cloth

.8. Playgrounds
There's just no way to put this delicately: Children tend to ooze bodily fluids and then spread them around. When researchers sampled playgrounds, they found blood, mucus, saliva and urine. Pair those findings with the fact that children put their fingers in their mouths and noses more than the rest of us, and it's easy to understand why Junior (and maybe his mom or dad) has the sniffles.
Reduce the risk: Carry alcohol wipes or hand-sanitizing gel in your purse, and clean everybody's hands a couple of times during a park visit, especially before snacking. Pick warm sunny days for outdoor play: The sun's ultraviolet light is actually a very effective disinfectant. Most bugs won't survive long on surfaces that are hot and dry.

9. Mats and machines at health clubs
Antibiotic-resistant staphylococcus has been found on yoga mats and cardio and resistance machines. At high schools, antibiotic-resistant-staph infections have been transmitted through wrestling mats. The same thing could happen at health clubs.
Reduce the risk: Wipe down machines with antibacterial wipes before working out. Bring your own yoga mat or cover a loaner with your towel. Shower after a workout and soap up your skin to rinse off any bacteria you may have been exposed to, as thorough washing gets rid of antibiotic-resistant staph.
10. Your bathtub
Shocking, but true: The place you go to get clean is quite dirty. A recent study found staphylococcus bacteria, a common cause of serious skin infections, in 26 percent of the tubs tested, as compared with just 6 percent of garbage cans. Tubs typically had more than 100,000 bacteria per square inch! You're washing germs and viruses off your body and the tub is a fairly moist environment, so bacteria can grow.
Reduce the risk : Once a week, apply a disinfecting cleaner to the tub and actually scrub. Then you need to wash the germs down the drain with water and dry the tub with a clean towel. If you leave the tub wet, germs are more likely to survive. If someone who uses the tub has a skin infection, scrub it afterward with a solution of two tablespoons bleach in one quart of water.

11. Your office phone
This is enough to make you dial 911: Office phones often have more than 25,000 germs per square inch, and your desk, computer keyboard and mouse aren't far behind. Phones, including cell phones, can be pretty gross because they get coated with germs from your mouth and hands.
Reduce the risk: Simply cleaning your desk, phone and keyboard with a disinfecting wipe once in the middle of the day will kill 99.99 percent of the bacteria and viruses.

12. The hotel-room remote control
What's the first thing you do when you settle in at a hotel? You grab the remote control and switch on the TV — you, and the hundreds of other guests who've stayed there. How dirty is it? A recent study tested various surfaces for the cold virus after a group of sick people had stayed overnight and found the virus on the remote, door handles, light switches, pens and faucet handles.
Reduce the risk : Clean the remote control, phone, clock radio, door handles and light switches with germicidal wipes.

For more ways to fight germs, visit
www.health.com© 2007 MSNBC Interactive URL:

________________________________________________________________

Baby Personality

What baby are you?
These are adorable and I'll bet they'll suit your b-day personalities......

---------------JANUARY BABY--------------------
Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn.



----------FEBRUARY BABY --------------------
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality.
Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone.Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest
And loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves Freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves
Aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it.
Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends But rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.


-----------------MARCH BABY --------------------
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate Shy and Reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous And sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.



------------------APRIL BABY -------------------
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and Sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does Work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good Memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look For information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or Make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and Others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and Travelling. Systematic. Hot but has brains.


-----------------MAY BABY -----------------
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and Highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to Dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good Imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves Literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike Being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited.


------------JUNE BABY -------------
You've got the best personality and are an Absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make
New friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt And more than likely have an a very attractive
Partner. A wicked hottie. It is also more than likely That you have a massive record collection. You Have a great choice in films, and may one day Become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, You've got the looks for it!!!


----------------JULY BABY --------------
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to Be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily Console. Honest. Concerned about people's
Feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.
Easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Spazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.
Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive
And forms impressions carefully. Caring and Loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of
Sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people Through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties
In studying. Loves to be with friends Always broods About the past an d the old friends. Waits for Friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive Unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt But takes long to recover.


------------AUGUST BABY ---------------
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. no self control. kind hearted. self
confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an "everything's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing. loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone". longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. independent. strong willed. a fighter.



------------SEPTEMBER BABY ---------------
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.


---------------OCTOBER BABY -------------------
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the centre. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.


---------------NOVEMBER BABY --------------------
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun.
Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent
personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month.



---------------DECEMBER BABY ---------------
This straight-up means ur the most good-looking person possible... better than all of these other
months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of person . Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. loves music.


________________________________________________________________

Are you the flaky employee?

Editor's note: CNN.com has a business partnership with CareerBuilder.com, which serves as the exclusive provider of job listings and services to CNN.com.


As a student, you excelled in art, music, drama and creative writing, although your excessive tardiness and inability to finish a project by its due date kept you at a steady "C" average.
Today, despite your creative genius, your chronic inability to prioritize and adhere to deadlines continues to curse you in your professional life.
It's not that you don't have good intentions; you simply have more brilliant ideas than you have time allotted to complete them. Even you have to admit you can be a little flaky sometimes, but is that so bad?
Not necessarily.
True, flakiness can be associated with odd behavior, unreliability and forgetfulness, but it's also often used to describe eccentric, artistic and innovative thinkers.
Dr. Leslie Bracksick, a career consultant and co-founder of a Pittsburgh-based executive strategy firm, defines flakiness as "the degree to which a person's behavior does or doesn't conform to the culture of the company."
"A 'flaky' employee may need better work habits, but may also be a free spirit with untapped creativity to contribute," Bracksick says.
Oftentimes, these people simply need to find a work environment where they can let their creativity and innovation run free. More often than not, the employee with these traits doesn't have the problem, the company does.
"I'd been consulting with a retail company who had a creative designer who didn't meet his budget or stay on project plans," Bracksik recalls. "But the problem was that he was exactly the type of person you'd want in that role."
Creative types may not necessarily conform to a company's culture, but it's that noncomformity and ability to think outside the box that makes them good at what they do.
In the corporate world, what is seen as "different" is often mistaken for strange or ill-fitting, and that is often an unfair assessment. Industries where the jobs require flexibility and spontaneity, such as advertising and entertainment, encourage such behavior, while flakiness wouldn't fly in jobs such as law enforcement or air traffic control, which require steadiness, focus, attention to detail and consistency.
"The ultimate question is, 'Is that behavior problematic?'" Bracksick says.
Someone who disrupts the flow of work, has a problem making decisions, is passive, shows poor leadership skills or has a short attention span can be a toxic presence in many office environments.
Certainly, if a person's behavior interferes with the goal of the company, the company needs to deal with that. But companies also need to realize that certain jobs will attract -- and benefit from -- people who are going to be different from the rest of the employees.
"In a manufacturing or process-intensive company, someone has to be working on research and development. If you have the right person for that job ... they'll likely be different from the other people," Bracksick says. "The key is to be ever mindful of what the goals of the company are."
Are You the Office Flake?
If you find that you continually start projects at the last minute, spend more time updating your MySpace page than you do on your upcoming presentation, take a liberal approach to the term "lunch hour," or call in sick on a weekly basis, chances are you're wreaking havoc on your boss and the co-workers who have to make up for your flaky behavior.
Whether you're not challenged enough in the current job you have or you simply find that the standard nine-to-five job doesn't jell with your schedule, perhaps you should try a career that's more in keeping with your personality traits.
As Bracksick mentioned, you may just have untapped creativity that you need to let out.
Sites like CareerPath.com, which offers personality and career assessment tests, may help you find a career that is more compatible with your unique interests and performance style.

What's your love type?

By Helen Fisher

(Oprah.com) -- According to relationship wizard Helen Fisher, PhD, there are four personality types -- Explorer, Builder, Negotiator and Director. She says that once you know who you are, you'll know why you're attracted to certain people. You'll also see who might make for a good match (not to mention, who you might want to offer that rain check).
We're each a mix of all four of Helen Fisher's relationship categories, but we express some traits more regularly than others. For example, you might primarily be an Explorer and secondarily a Negotiator, but then not have much Builder in you. As you read on, you'll probably guess both your primary and secondary types, as well as those of your mate.


The Negotiator
Negotiators have specific personality traits that have been linked with estrogen. Although estrogen is known as a female sex hormone, men have it, too, and there are plenty of male Negotiators. As the name suggests, this type is superb at handling people. Negotiators instinctively know what others are thinking and feeling. They artfully read facial expressions, postures, gestures, and tone of voice. Their interest in identity extends not only to others but to themselves. So they are introspective and self-analytical-- men and women who take pleasure in journeying into their thoughts and motives. As a result, when they form a partnership, they like to delve deeply into the strengths and weaknesses of the relationship.
Not only do Negotiators connect psychologically, they also have the ability to remain mentally flexible. When they make decisions, they weigh many variables and consider various ways to proceed; they see things contextually, rather than linearly -- I call it web thinking. As a result, they tend to be comfortable with ambiguity. Negotiators can be highly intuitive and creative. And they like to theorize. Perhaps their most distinctive characteristic is verbal fluency, the facility for finding the right words rapidly. With this skill -- alongside an agreeable and accommodating nature, compassion, social savvy, and patience -- the Negotiator can be very friendly, diplomatic, and authentic.
But as with all qualities, these traits can warp. Negotiators sometimes become such placators they appear wishy-washy to the point of spinelessness. Because they're not willing to confront, they can turn to backstabbing. With their need to examine all the possibilities, they can get bogged down in rumination as opposed to action. And in a relationship, their desire to connect and dissect all the subtle meanings between the two of you can become cloying and invasive.


The Director
Specific activities in the testosterone system are what distinguishes this type. Again, although we think of the hormone as male, it is shared by both sexes, and there are many full-blooded women Directors. Whatever the gender, people of this type are competitive. They strive to be top dog and have many skills to get there. They are pragmatic, tough-minded, and most notably decisive, able to make up their minds rapidly, even when faced with difficult choices. Rational analysis, logical reasoning, and objectivity are their core strengths. They also pay attention to details and can focus their attention to the exclusion of everything around them -- an ability that enables them to weed out extraneous data and progress on a straightforward path toward a specific goal: the solution. Many Directors are also ingenious, theoretical, and bold in their ideas. Moreover, they are willing to take unpopular, even dangerous paths, to get to the truth. So they persist and often win.
Directors are particularly skilled at understanding machines and other rule-based systems, from computers and math problems to the details of biology, world finance, or architecture. They excel at sports, and often have an acute ear for all kinds of music. Their interests can be narrow; but they pursue them deeply and thoroughly. And they can captivate those who share their hobbies.
Placating leaves the Director cold. He or she often chooses to do a good job rather than please others. In fact, Directors are the least socially skilled of the four types. When preoccupied with work or personal goals, they can appear aloof, distant, even cold, and are generally not interested in making social connections, with the exception of those that are useful or exciting to them.
As with the other types, the traits that make Directors so successful may become grating: For example, their confidence can veer into bragging, their exactitude turn uncompromising, and their forthrightness simply seem rude. And because they often see issues in black and white, they miss the nuances of social, business, and personal situations. But thanks to their dedication, loyalty, and interest in sharing ideas, Directors make close friends. And they can be fiercely protective of those they love.


The Builder
Calm, affable, and people oriented, the Builder's personality is influenced by the serotonin system. Social situations are often fun and relaxing for Builders; they like to network. Because duty and loyalty are their strong suits, they often acquire a devoted pack of peers and pals. And they're true guardians when it comes to family and friends.
Builders are cautious -- but not fearful. They think concretely. They have a clear memory of yesterday's mistakes, so they prepare. These people are not impulsive with their money, their actions, or their feelings. Security is important to them. Structure and order are, too. Taking particular pride in upholding social norms, many are traditional, and they often have a strong moral streak. Builders don't get bored easily, which enables them to be methodical, hardworking, and dependable. Thanks to all these solid qualities, they tend to be regarded as pillars of the community.
But Builders can go overboard. In their quest to do things the "proper way," they can be intolerant of other ways. Indeed, they can be stubborn. And with their need for order, rules, and schedules, they can stifle spontaneity. Their stoicism can turn into pessimism, their conformity into rigidity, and their concrete thinking sometimes makes them too literal. Normally, however, Builders are community minded, industrious, and popular with colleagues and companions.


The Explorer
Explorers have a very active dopamine system, a brain chemical associated with the tendency to seek novelty, among other qualities. An Explorer might look up from the newspaper on Sunday and say, "Want to go to Warsaw?" -- and by Wednesday you're in Poland. Champions of "never a dull moment," these adventurers live to discover new people, places, things, or ideas, often on the spur of the moment. Friends, family, and colleagues frequently regard them as highly independent and autonomous.
Explorers have more energy than most people; they tend to be restless, sometimes fast-paced. And they are highly curious -- "For always roaming with a hungry heart," as Tennyson put it. Constantly generating new ideas or creative insights, they easily shift their attention from one thing to another. Although the classic Explorer is a race-car driver, South Pole trekker, or bad-boy rocker who lives hard, taking drugs and having risky sex, I know many who exercise their passion for adventure by reading several hours a day; collecting stamps, coins, or antiques; or walking through the byways of a city.
People quickly like most Explorers. Generous and sunny, they tend to be playful, sensual, sometimes hedonistic, often unpredictable, and regularly amusing. But they can be difficult to take -- especially in a marriage. They do not tolerate boredom well. So they are generally not interested in routine social or business events. In fact, Explorers try to avoid routine of almost any kind, and can trample on another person's cherished beliefs and habits -- not to mention be impatient. E-mail to a friend


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THE 7 UPS!

Author Unknown
Nov 18, 2007

The 7 Ups!
1. Wake Up !!
Decide to have a good day.
"This is the day the Lord hath made;
Let us rejoice and be glad in it."
Psalms 118:24
2. Dress Up !!
The best way to dress up is to put on a smile.
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.
Man looks at outward appearance,
But the Lord looks at the heart."
I Samuel 16:7
3. Shut Up!!
Say nice things and learn to listen.
God gave us two ears and one mouth,
So He must have meant for us to do twice as much listening as
talking.
"He who guards his lips guards his soul."
Proverbs 13:3
4. Stand Up!!
. . . For what you believe in.
Stand for something or you will fall for anything.
"Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time,
We will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good..."
Galatians 6:9-10
5. Look Up !!
. . . To the Lord.
"I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me".
Philippians 4:13
6. Reach Up !!
. . . For something higher.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not unto your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path."
Proverbs 3:5-6
7. Lift Up !!
. . . Your Prayers.
"Do not worry about anything; instead
PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING."
Philippians 4:6

South SUper Highway

For the general commuting public, maging driver ka man o hindi...

Ingat kayo when passing through south super highway
cor quirino ave. On our way home from Makati , we
took buendia then turn right to south superhighway,
it was only 8pm and it was drizzling. we were
cruising fine but it was a slow moving traffic.
right after san andres st, there are these buildings
which are modern version of home along the riles
(near the designers depot), my wife screamed because
somebody was trying to open the car from her side.
sensing that it was locked he moved to the back door
and tried to open it likewise, we were stocked in
traffic and i was stunned that i could not think of
anything to do but just look at him. so when finally
the traffic moved he also moved away casually
tucking the gun in his belly and staring at me as if
saying you are lucky you locked your door. thank GOD
my wife is so makulit in reminding me to lock the
door evertime we go. kaya to all you people beware
of that place. Actually you should be alert & be
cautious when passing
through south superhighway all the way to nagtahan.

Karla Vanessa M. Redor

Three days ago my driver had an encounter in this
area. After dropping me off at work, the driver was
on the south bound lane of South Super Highway near
the home along the riles housing (near Sunday
Machine Works and Designer Depot). As he came to a
full stop at the San Andres intersection stoplight,
a man approached the car's rear passenger side,
grabbed the car's antenna and broke it. The man
remained beside the car, apparently waiting for the
driver to get down and confront him. Fortunately,
the driver remembered my dad's warnings regarding
these types of M.O.s and remained in the car. As the
driver sped away, he noticed a group of men on the
center island. It pays to be praning,

Sara

Yes, I have witnessed a similar incident, maybe a
bout a month ago, and reported it immediately to
Police 117. A young man tried to open the passenger
door of the taxi in front of me. About three or four
girls were inside the taxi at that time.
Fortunately, the door was locked. I pass this route
coming from Malacanang every night. Fortunately for
me too, my car is heavily tinted so I am not easy
prey. I shall call 117 again. I suggest you do the
same. Although I don't know if that would really
help.

Atty. Dara C. Acusar Assistant Secre tary
Office of the Chief Presidential Legal Counsel

A similar incident happened to me along Quirino
Avenue somewhere between the Flying V gas station
and Iglesia ni Kristo. 3 men approached my car IN
BROAD DAYLIGHT! and SLOW TRAFFIC! and tried to open
the back doors. Bumusina ako ng tuloy tuloy to ward
them off. It's scary 'coz that area has no
patrolling policemen. When they failed to open my
car, they tried the other cars naman. I don't know
kung may nabuksan sila. Then yesterday, while the
PMAP rally was going on along Buendia cor. Ayala, as
I was about to cross that intersection, two of the
rallyists tried to open my car doors again. Again in
BROAD DAYLIGHT! WITH A POLICEMAN AROUND! Hay, what
the world has come to. I suggest you lock up and
make a lot of noise to at least rattle those thieves.

Judy

mga tsong this really happend last wednesday,
September sept. 10... and i hope u would take time
in reading this... I came from makati and was
driving along south super highway (osmena hiway)
going towards manila area, nung dumating ako sa
maliit na bridge before the DESIGNER DEPOT, ung
maliit na bazaar of clothes (corner quirino ave and
osmena highway) , if ur coming from makati and u
took buendia or pablo ocampo, mauuna ung bridge
before DESIGNER DEPOT ung nasa harap ko is a gold
honda civic, all of a sudden may mga lumabas na
around 6 or 7 guys who obviously look like squatters
who reside along the riles and biglang tinambangan
ung civic, pinagsisipa, pinagyug-yug, pinagkukutkot
ung susian and they were successful in opening the
doors, tapos nagulat na lang ako isa isa nilang
nilabas ung mga gamit na nasa loob nung civic cds,
bags, etc. im not sure kung ung driver is a girl or
a boy , pero ung driver tinutukan ng kutsilyo... in
short parang kinuyob ung civic, btw, ako
and ung civic during that time (mga 8:30 - 9:00 pm )
ay nasa right most ng lane... meaning right side
lang namin ung lakaran ng tao... after robbing...
they immediately jump off the bridge and went
away... dami nakakita nun pero isang taxi driver
lang ang tumigil to check ung condition ng driver...
nga pala, may owner-type jeep na nasa harap ng
katabi ng civic, sakay ay mga pulis, 2 lang ata
yun... naka purple na uniform (manila police)... i
dont know kung nakita nila yung incident na yun...
pero sa tingin ko naman makikita nila yun... natakot
lang dahil 2 lang sila eh and their rusty pistols...
just a friendly warning mga tsong... kung mag-isa
kayo and mejo kita kayo sa loob ng kotse nyo (kahit
ano pa yang kotse nyo, luma or bago) try to avoid
muna if possible ung osmena highway at night or
better yet try to have another route kasi mejo
nagpaparamdam na naman ung mga modus operandi na
tulad nun dahil pasko na ulet. if any of u guys have
contact sa manila police, paki
inform naman sila or just spread this news.... its
for all us naman eh... peace!

Always better safe than sorry... forewarned is
forearmed... mga bro ingat kayo run, malapit lang
ako nakatira dun kaya talagang totoo yung mga
sinasabi rito, karamihan ng mga tarantado diyan nde
mismo taga ilalim ng tulay (tapat ng sunday machine
works) ginagawa lang nila taguan yun at takasan,
mostly ng tulisan diyan mga taga-riles from Fabie,
taga-Texas, taga-Muñoz, taga-Mataas na Lupa at mismo
taga-riles (batangas line). uso rin ang agaw
cellphone jan tsaka holdapan sa jeep lalo na sa
riles ingat din kayo sa parking lot ng Designer's
Depot kse yung iba doon naghahanap ng biktima (kase
talagang madilim dun!) yan din ang isa sa mga reason
kung bakit walang nakatira dun sa mga housing
project na malapit dun sa tawiran sa kabila ng
designers depot (yung maraming bata at totoy na
nakatambay at yung iba nagbebenta ng sampaguita) wag
din kayo tatawid dun dahil puro rugby boys and girls
ang nakaupo run! ang masakit, walang ginagawa yung
police detachment diyan! sana makatulong ng konti

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